Doan Chung-Hernandez

This is an old video but totally worthy because it’s funny as shit. It’s a video of my mother on a kiddie ride. You could hear me laughing at her the whole time she’s freaking out and I don’t know what the hell my dad is doing. Just a dose of the Chung family.

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Reading has always been one of my favorite pass-time activities. I don’t really have any favorites but the books that I usually gravitate towards are financial books. This is the book I am currently reading. The title basically explains it all, a book about a 20 year study about the typical millionaire. A lot of people you know could very well be a millionaire, just a modest one that lives below his means and most people that you think would easily be a millionaire aren’t. They’re what the book calls “big hat not cattle.” (I love that expression by the way). They’re pretentious people living in extravagant homes, driving flashy leased out cars and wearing fancy suits but when it comes down to it the bank owns them and they ain’t got shit. This book hasn’t really taught me jack. Growing up with a frugal ass mom has taught me a lot about the secret lives of millionaires and how they really operate. Just take a look at any Chinese person living in a high populated Chinese community, the more impecunious they seem the richer they are, I promise you. The only people I’ve ever known to pay for cars right off the lot in cash is Chinese. This was the way that I thought cars were suppose to be bought when I was a kid. You buy it when you have enough dough to claim it. Make sense right? Every single Chinese person I know that owns a car has bought it with cash, in two to three separate payments so they don’t get audited and it’s the only reason they make house payments but I don’t know a single Chinese that kept making a payment on a home longer than 5 to 10 years, 10 years is pushing it. If you do know a Chinese and none of this applies to them then I promise you they are Americanized. Am I right? It’s the American way to pay for things on credit. We’re trained to be “big hat no cattle.” Take a look at me. The longer I live in American the more Americanize I’ve become, especially living in communities where I am the minority. I’ve own 4 cars in my life. The first two was paid for the “Chinese way,” 3rd car had a large down payment and basically was the beginning of me letting the “American way” put her leash on me. The down payment on my fourth car, the one I currently drive, but share ownership with the bank with, was so shamefully Americanize that I dare not ever tell my mother the real figures. It’s been 3 years I’ve been making payments on this car and my mother still can’t believe that her daughter chooses to “throw money out of her pockets,” and she never fails to remind me every time we meet. The thing is the older I get and the more credit card debt I try to dig myself out of and the more payments I have on material items I share with the banks the more I come to realize that mom’s really are almost always right. So the moral of my long rant is, take a look at your neighbor, are they Chinese because if they are they just might be a millionaire and you should make proper arrangements to befriend them.

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My mother’s birthday past, December 29 and although I called and wished her happy birthday on her birthday I wanted to document it because she’s the bravest, strongest, most beautiful women I know. Not all my good qualities are from her, some of that is all me, but a lot of the good ones are. I am fearless, witty, funny, and cheap all because of you mom. I would be nothing without you, obviously. I love you so so so freaking much and I thought about you all day on December 29th, especially every time I ate. I wish I could of been with you. Your the best mom ever. Happy Birthday!

I love you.

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So during my whole stay at the hospital I kept in contact with my family. They were so worried that they kept contemplating if they should drive down to see me or not. I really wanted them to but didn’t want to push it. I know driving from California is not easy and if your wondering why they just didn’t fly since that certainly is easier than driving, it’s because they they are fruggle, very much like me, or I’m like them. But in the end they ended up loading their car up and heading east bound to Austin Texas. Ahhhh, it certainly feels good to be loved.

My mother cooked for us everyday. I loved it.

I taught my dad how to navigate around on my laptop. He still struggles with it.

I didn’t take a lot of photos while they were down visiting, probably because I was being cared for most of the time. When I was feeling well Ray and I took my parents to Zilker Botanical Garden’s. How cute are my parents in this photo?

My adorable little sis.

Me and Kola. By the way, here’s a better photo of me and my new hairdo. I cut short ass bangs and about an inch off of the front of the sides so it was even with the rest of my hair instead of sloped. Did it all by myself one day to release some anger. It’s only hair, it’ll grow back if I don’t like it right, but right now I’m kinda digging it.

My dad got down on his knees to pose with the flowers.

Me, dad, and Kola stop at a bench for a photo shoot

Our little family.

My mom and Selena.

Taking a stroll.

Me and my sister, but the funny part is my dad in the back ground. He’s picking plants up off the ground and planning on planting them back home.

Now look at him, he’s posing with them. What a goof ball.

I don’t know why he even wants them, they look like tiny birds nest.

Looks like this photo is taken from up top but no, Ray’s just tall, especially compared to little Asian people. I love this photo because while I’m trying to secretly be in their photo my dad is still picking up plants off the floor that fell from the branches of trees.

Don’t know why there’s one dino in the front of the botanical garden, but there is and I kinda dig it.

Afterwards we all went to the mall. Hey Austin does have a mall. Ray and I have been trying to figure that out since we’ve moved here.

Coming here was risky because my dad loves to take photos inside the mall, especially during Christmas time. I think it’s all the decoration and lights that put him in the spirit.

And just like that they’re heading back but before they do they make a stop at H.E.B. for some water. I begged and pleaded for them not to go but in the end I got tired of begging. My mother had things to do back home. It’s not often I get to see them. I love them so much for coming all this way to see me and I love that my mom is such a mom and cooks, cleans, and takes care of me. It was nice.

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In case your wondering, I’m not in the photo it’s because I was taking the photo. Story of my life. For Thanksgiving this year Ray and I flew to California to be with the Chungs. Flying was an absolute disaster going both ways. Do yourself a favor and don’t ever fly United. Our flight was canceled without any notice. However we were able to catch flight 88 which actually got us there 15 minutes earlier. Kinda weird because 88 is our number and for some reason it always finds it’s way into our lives.

My mother lives in the kitchen.

My dad got Ray some T-shirts from China. All of which are too small.

Lana and Kevin couldn’t make it for Thanksgiving because they were flying to Arizona so we celebrated Thanksgiving with them a few days before.

Chilling on the couch with full bellies.

In his spare time my dad likes to pretend like he’s 14 years old and listen to music on his on his headphone while watching the video on his little television alone in his room.

My mornings are spent with my dad. One morning him and I went jogging. I didn’t bring any jogging shoes so I went in my boots. True story. On this particular morning my dad and I went on a very long bike ride. It had to be something like 45 miles. All I know is we were far, far from home.

My dad led the way. He took me down dangerous roads that most dads would think twice about taking their child, like the freeway. But the danger was well worth it because soon we came upon a small hidden bike path that went for miles and miles and miles along a canal.

My dad is adorable.

Like I said, my dad led the way so taking a photo of his backside was my only option.

We took a couple of breaks along the way.

Alright, so after like 20 miles or so we reach the end of the path and all that is in front of us is a tall dam across the street. So this is the end of the road, that is until my dad spots people hiking up the dam, and then he takes a closer look and yes, there’s people up there, walking and jogging. My dad being the curious monkey that he is wants to check it out but he needs the green light from me. “I really want to go up there, but we’re already so far from home, no we shouldn’t go up there huh?” he says to me. Honestly, I didn’t really want to go up there. I was tired, hungry, far from home, I knew my mom and Selena was probably at home thinking we’d be home any minute now, and we still had at least 20 miles to ride back home. But my dad has never been this close to the dam so if my dad wants to go up that freaking dam then we’re gonna go up that freaking dam. I grab my bike and say, “come on lets go,” and ride across the street toward the dam. “Huh, we’re gonna go,” my dad was so excited. We took a photo when we reached the top of the dam.

I know it doesn’t look like it but we were pretty high up.

We road for miles and miles on that freaking dam.

And then my dad notices a lake and a park to the left and of course he wants to go check it out. “Wow, it looks really pretty over there. I want to go see it. Do you want to go see it?” No I don’t want to go see it, but I say, “yeah, dad lets go check it out.”

My dad is the biggest photo whore ever. He wants me to take photos of him every time we reach a new destination so he can remember all the places that he’s been. My dad’s been to a lot of places. I think he’s on his 3rd or 4th passport. His last trip to China got prolong because he had to order more pages for his passport.

He’s a poser too.

We take more photos.

My dad is the swan whisperer.

We take our bikes down further and come upon a beach, man made obviously, but there was sand and everything.

We stop to take photos and then to sit on the beach and talk about life.

My dad tells me that today he’s really happy and if it weren’t for me he wouldn’t have came this far. I’m sure he would of eventually found it but it was nice to hear.

And then we head back home.

We stop for one drink break and this is where I make the mistake of telling my dad that I like to ride fast. I told him that because I wanted to get home as soon as possible. He rides fast the whole way down the bike path, so fast that he’s literally like 500 yards in front of me. Hello, my dad is 64 years old. What the fuck!

Later that day we head to my oldest sister’s home so we can spend time with her and my niece, Sianna. Sianna made a turkey out of food. She’s a creative kid.

The next day Jeff, my sister’s husband comes over with their daughter Sianna for Thanksgiving.

Lots of Chinese food this year.

I love my family and miss them everyday.

I love tofu too.

I made vegan lettuce wraps. Thanks for the recipe Bea. It was the only dish that was completely demolished.

My dad was happy Jeff came, even though Lien didn’t.

The girls after dinner.

Saying good-bye to Jeff.

And the next day we flew home. What a great trip. We have so much to be thankful for. Hope ya’ll had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

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Thalia, the Memory Lane chick, surprised me at 11:00 the next morning and said I had to be out of there by noon. I guess it’s a good thing I woke up early to clean. Thank God for my mom and sisters; they were amazing with all the help. We packed up the car and everyone parted ways. Later a bunch of us met back up in our itty bitty apartment. I’m certain that was the most people our apartment will ever hold at one time. My family soon took off to catch their flights back home and my friends and I just decided to play it by ear, considering the long weekend we just endured. We all walked over to Kona Grill, just down the street from where we live, to grab some food and drinks.

Although my family had already taken off I still didn’t know how the hell I would manage the sleeping arrangements. Finding a place for everyone to sleep in our tiny ass apartment was like watching 30 clowns step out of a smart car. Seriously, there was me, Ray, Jackie, Bea, Guav, Val, Becky, Monica, Heather, and Jen and our apartment is maybe 750 square foot. I’m the type to just say fuck it, we’ll make it happen because there’s no way Ray or myself would ever ask our friends to go get a place.

But luckily my friends decided to rent a hotel close to the airport so they could hop on the shuttle to catch their flight in the morning. After drinks and food, what else is there to do but to get tattoos.

We’re a couple of bad ass chicks, so we decided to get a tattoo to show how bad ass we really were.

Actually, we’re not really that bad ass. All of us but Jen, decided to get a tattoo, an eternity sign, to symbolize our friendship.  I think I was the only tattoo virgin and that is why I volunteered to go first. Seriously, who wants to be a virgin? Let me cleanse myself of that purity.

My new tattoo. I love it. Now normally I would be a little more weary of who tattoos me and what the tattoo is going to be, which is why this is my first tattoo. But I have always loved the eternity sign because it looks like a sideways 8 and the number 8 is my all time favorite number, hence 08.08.08. This tattoo has meaning to me because it represents the friendship between my friends and I and that bond that can never broken. Also, it’s pretty retard and fuck up free so it makes a perfect first tattoo to get on the spur of the moment.

Jen didn’t get anything because she’s in the process of finding salvation and Val got retarded stars. No joke, they were retarded stars.

The next day I picked Becky up and dropped her off at her friend, Autumn’s house since she wasn’t leaving for another week. Bea’s a crawdad freak, well not really but she certainly likes to eat em. So where else to go but the Boiling Pot.

Poor Guav is only able to eat corn and potatoes and then works diligently for Bea pealing the shell off each crawdad, like a kid in a sweat shop, only white, and grownup and working for an Asian, the way all sweat shops should be ran.

The next day we all drove up to Dallas to Ben’s humble abode. He has the cutest twins ever, a boy and a girl and they’re both hyper as fuck.

But, I guess so are the grown ups.

We also went shopping because Bea has the coolest job ever; she gets to shop for a living and no she’s not hiring.

Then we all went out to eat with Kuya Ben.

And of course his twins, Lyric . . .

And Cloe.

Val at our house.

Val Is Funny from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

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Alright, I’m just going to apologize now because I know by now ya’ll are totally over the wedding and thinking that maybe I should be too, since it’s been almost a month now and I’m still blogging about it. Here’s the thing, and I hate to admit it but I will just this one time so that everyone understands . . . I’m a bit O.C.D. as in obsessive, compulsive, disorder, when it comes to recording my life and photos. Guav, I know you’ll understand. I really thought that I would be done by now too and to tell you the truth, I want to be. I’m tired of blogging about my wedding. I want to move on to current events but I can’t, at least not until I finish blogging about the titanic events in my life in the order it happened. I’m sorry, but It’s a disorder.

After the wedding, family, brides maids and grooms people stayed behind for fun photo time.

The thing is, there were so many photographers that no body knew what camera to look at.

Ray and his boy

Selena and Sianna.

BFF’s

I’m loved

Me and Lulu

The Hernandez’s

Goofing around

Me and my moms

Me and my sisters.

Me with Lana and Kevin

I really like this photo because it looks eerie, like some weird telepathic shit is going on between the photographers.

He loves me.

We did it babe.

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What a great day. When I think about the day I got married I can’t help but to smile really big. It’s the way every wedding should be: stress free, surrounded people you love, lots of good food and alcohol always helps.

There was some last minute shopping I had to get done, like flowers. Bea, Jackie and I went out in search of fresh flowers. After hitting up a few places and 3 hundred dollars later we came back with butt loads of flowers and some other random items we had on our list.

To my delight I came back to see my sister’s and mother had been hard at work doing what they do best, cook.

Chris and Pops fired up the grill.

I got in my bikini and joined the party.

How adorable do my sisters, mom and I look here?

Good times in the pool.

Jackie made her infamous jungle juice.

With my girls.

Kuya Ben’s a perve.

Gay boys like to ride each other in the pool.

I love my little sis.

Group photo.

Synchronizing pools jumping should be an Olympic event.

Kola roamed around.

Is this the gayest photo or what? Guav is in a bikini and in the back it looks like Coop is giving Ray a flower. I hope this photo comes back to haunt them one day.

Mom, Robin, Pops, Beau

Steve and his awesome wife, Nycole.

Kimmy, baby, and husband, Coop.

Chris and Marci.

Stuffing our faces.

As you can tell, it was a pretty awesome day and it was only going to get better. I love weddings, especially mine.

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