Doan Chung-Hernandez

Now that 2009 is here I want to take some time to reflect on 2008. I always knew 2008 was going to be a good year. I remember looking forward to it because it was 08 and 8 is just a good fucking number. It was only a year ago Ray and I were living the good o life in the rainbow state, Honolulu Hawaii.

It was almost a year ago that I started my first post on this blog, January 9th 2008. Since then I’ve written 121 post. I don’t really know who’s all reading it, but it sure has made my hand written journaling take back seat.

I cut my hair super short for the first time ever. It was kinda cute wasn’t it?

Ray got a new iPhone.

Ray and I ran in The Annual Great Aloha Run, just a little over 8 miles, and we all know eight is a good number to start with.

We voted for our first time for the Democratic Party. But just for the record, once Hillary was out of the election Ray and I voted again for our first time for President for Obama of course.

Ray bought me my first brand new computer. Mac 4 life baby!

MyBabyOurBaby Launched.

We finally found the dock where Lost, our favorite television series, was filmed at. We searched the island for it forever.

We went camping at Melekahana, our first time camping in Hawaii and Ray’s first time ever. He’s not a fan.

Rocked out at the Kokua Festival, a festival Jack Johnson puts on every year in Hawaii.

CheapPlacesToEatInOahuHawaii.com, my blog had become a major hit and one of Hawaii’s most popular food blog websites.

I called some lady a cunt on my last day of work, because she was.

We got to swim with dolphins.

We moved back to the main land, California first.

Ray got to meet some of my extended family.

Tried wake boarding for the first time.

Got to ride dirk bikes again.

Moved to Austin

Where we met the Semmlers, Shane’s older brother and his family and now mine.

Kidnapped Kuya Ben’s dogs.

Found the Agave Homes and fell in love.

Ray introduced me to Marcos. He works for NASA.

Went to our first roller derby.

Spent Bachelorette week in Florida with my best bud Jack Mother Fucking Dogg with a double G.

Got married, 080808.

Got my first tattoo with my old crew from V-Town.

Traveled to New York, but just for a couple of months.

I stopped eating meat.

Met Guav Mom and the Roses and I have to tell you I’m a fan. Hope we get to see them again soon.

I got to freelanced at Jimmy Z’s, thanks to Bea.

We got to be extras in Friday Night Lights.

I almost died from pneumonia.

I met the Semmler’s, the rest of Shane’s family, and now mine as well and went to my first professional basketball game. Go Mavericks!

As you can see I love recording my life and 2008 was a year worth recording. There was a lot of cherry popping going on and I got to meet a lot of people that will be in my life for the long haul. We also moved around a lot, Hawaii, California, Austin, New York, Dallas. Things are just never boring with us. I’m looking forward to a healthy, happy and prosperous year for 2009. I know great things are to come.

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I miss the beach and the weather, oh and rainbows.  I know Austin is my new home now and I’m totally excited to be here but Hawaii is where my soul calls home.  What I would give right now to be on the beach just soaking up the sun.  Texas feels like hell, or a very hot oven.  I laugh when I hear someone say, “today sure is a nice day.” Ha, if they only knew.  They have no idea.

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Ray and I finish sending the last of our boxes.  We sent it all boat mail and the post office said it should take somewhere around a month or so to get to its destination but Ray’s dad has already gotten most of the boxes.  Now that everything is sent, I’m officially living out of my suitcase.  Of course we still have our drawers so I don’t technically have to be, but it just makes things more exciting actually doing it. But living out of a suitcase is harder than it seems and now I just have a pile of Doan’s shit inside a suitcase; nothing is tucked away neatly.  We just shipped the car about four days ago.  It really sucks donkey dick not having a car. Since it’s our last few days here I’d rather be on the other side of the island doing something I’ve never done before.  Also,  since Kola is flying out with us, this time with me underneath my seat, we had to get him the proper paper work and checked out.  It cost us $222.00 and is only good for 10 days, which means I need to be outta here by the 4th, with Kola otherwise, we’ll have to pay for is exam and paper work all over again.  The crazy thing is we haven’t even bought our plane tickets. Have you guys seen the prices for flights these days?  Hawaiian Airlines is taking full advantage of the 3 airlines that have just went under and decided to jack their prices way up, since they’re the only airline now that flies to Hawaii.  So one way tickets are now going for almost $600.00.  Pretty steep right?  Luckily our friend Val is a air hostest and is trying to get us super cheap stand by tickets for $85.00.  I really hope it works out.  I’m just so ready to get going already.  Everyday the apartment gets smaller and smaller.  I miss my family and I’m really looking forward to seeing them, getting everyone together for a nice dinner, tasting my mothers home cooking for a whole week, hanging out with all my sisters, taking a walk with my dad, and then getting the fuck outta there and getting on with the rest of my life with Ray and Kola.  In the mean time, life has literally been a beach.  We’ve been soaking up some Rays at the beach, since it’s only two blocks from where we live and doing a lot of walking. I now know that I am totally dependent on a vehicle and I’m o.k. with this.  Ray will just have to figure out a way for us to drive on vegetable oil so we can still be green.  We’ll, I guess that’s all for now.

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Our friend Jen, is a dolphin trainer for Dolphin Quest at Kahala Hotel. One of the perks of that is getting to swim with dolphins for free. I’ve been hoping and trying to have her get us in before we move. Since we were nonpaying customers I knew we took the back seat to other paying customers like Dave Mathews, who had just checked out of his room earlier this day. Anyhow, Jen calls me one day and was like, “hey, if you want to swim with the dolphins come in at 2:45. Fuck yeah, it’s not like I have to work or anything.

I almost cried when I first got into the water. I’ve seen dolphins a million and one times but I never actually got a chance to even touch one and here I am swimming with them. Super cool.

How cute is he. All the dolphins that live here are males and apparently they have sex with each other. I think I love him.

Ray and I look so funny here. It almost looks like we just spotted a shark and just shit our pants.

Ray loves the dolphins too

This is us with our friend, Jen. I know your gonna read this eventually Jen so thank you so much for doing this for us. That was way cool of you to get us in before we moved. Ray and I had an awesome time. It was unbelievable. Noha and Hoku rock.

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I am officially unemployed and it feels phenomenal. On my last day of work I really didn’t want to go out with a bang. Everyone wanted me to have a drunken fair well event, but I’m not good at good-byes. I work with a lot of good guys and I’m gonna miss them but life goes on and I’m going with it. After work Brian and I had planned on running a few of his errands, but it got late and we decided to hit the bar instead. Our friend Donny met up with us, then Jen and Ali joined and later Scottie stopped by.

This is me and Jen. Don’t mind my eyes in any of these photos. When I drink I can never seem to open them.

Me, Donny, and Ali. I never really hit it off with Ali, but Donny was one of my favorites.

Donny and Brian, two very cool guys.

Brain was my closest buddy at work. We got along great because like me, he has a twisted sense of humor and can appreciate great music like Sublime. Oh, B-Rad, I’m gonna miss ya.

That guy in the back ground is Scotty. He’s one of those happy go lucky kind of guys that lives at the bar. Every bar needs a Scotty.

It’s story time, so as you all know, the day before this day I called some lady a cunt at work. That apparently opened the Cunt Door and now I just feel like calling everyone a cunt. There’s this lady at work, named Evette, that I absolutely despise. It seems like everyone at work is afraid of her because she has this mouth on her that just doesn’t quit. In the beginning they wouldn’t even schedule us together but as of late, we started working civilly together once a week but that doesn’t mean we even talk to one another. I don’t even say hi; she stays out of my way and I will stay out of hers. Anyhow, she ends up at the bar that night and slowly makes her way to our table. Everybody does the small talk thing because no one really likes her. I’m drunk and the cunt door is already open so I say, “hey Evette can I ask you something? Why are you such a cunt?” Of course she gets defensive and goes on to say she’s not a cunt, blah blah, blah. I assure her that she’s wrong, lying, and is in fact a cunt.” Anyhow, we do our little argue thing back and fourth. I was loving it because I just like confrontation. I enjoy telling people exactly how I feel and moving on. After she leaves Donny, who had been sitting there the whole time goes, “wow, you just don’t fuck around do ya?” No Donny, I don’t. Anyhow, that was that and again, it felt so good to tell someone exactly what I thought of them. I’m so glad she came.

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That’s right bitches, don’t fuck with me, because I could I be the bitch of all bitches, but considering this was my second to last day at work, I really didn’t give a fuck about getting fired.  It’s not that I like bragging about fighting because those days are over for me.  These days I’m totally refined, posed and stoic like Buddha but that is until somebody fines that button and pushes it.  You see there are certain things that I absolutely adore about myself, one of them being that I will stand up to anyone that talks down to me because I have ginormous balls of steel.

To make the long story short, some lady at work tells me we need to hire people that work faster.  I tell her, no she just needs to be more patient.  She tell me I have a mouth on me and I say, yes, yes I do.  She has nothing else to say so she calls me a bitch.  I snap back and call her a cunt.  She blows fire out of her nostrils because like all females, she detests being called the C word.  She does the laugh growl thing like she’s gonna lay one down on me but obviously has nothing else to say so I leave.  The end.  I’m not going to lie, that worked me up.  I could feel my blood boil and body tense; the feeling I get when I want to bash someone’s face in with a hammer.  But when all was said and done, cunt had left the building and I calmed the fuck down I smiled at what I just did.  Good job Doe doe, way to be a wise ass and stick up for yourself, once again.  I make me so proud.

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Every year since Jack Johnson became a somebody, he throws this thing called the Kokua Festival. It’s pretty fucking amazing and there’s always other big musicians that also plays, besides himself. Last year we also got to barbecue outside. It was really exciting because not only was Eddie Vedder playing, but we were still somewhat new residents to Hawaii so we were expecting to do this kind of shit all the  time. Anyhow, this year Dave Mathews and Tim Reynolds were invited to play. I’m not really familiar with Tim Reynold’s stuff but I am a huge fan of Dave Mathews and since I’ve never got to see him in action I was all about getting tickets. Ray has been to a ton of Dave Mathews concerts since he is his favorite artist when it comes to music and he’s also a huge fan of Tim Reynolds and never got to see him live so he was totally for getting tickets too. However, after less than 3 minutes of being on sale the tickets were totally sold out. Fucking blows, oh well. I know I mentioned it before, but concerts outside the shell fucking rock. It’s free live music where I get to bring my own food, beer, dog, have all the space I want to kick back and relax and play bocce.  It’s awesome and I last throughout the weekend and I got to make it to both events.

This is the first day, it gets a lot more crowed than this.

Shane and Ray. I don’t know why Shane has that face, maybe he has to take a shit, who knows.

I make Diamond Head look good.

Ray was craving Crunch n Munch for some reason today so we bought a big box of it and demolished it. I’m pretty sure it’s the reason why I had a stomach ache all night.

Ray walked me to the restroom across the street to avoid the long lines from the closer restroom. Inside the restroom some girl had busted her skull somehow and there was blood everywhere. I tried to take a photo but when I got out of the stall I saw like 6 firemen there all staring down at the blood trying to figure out how to clean it all up.  On the way back Ray snapped this photo. Very pretty.

Lots of love in the air.

The next day, Ray dropped Shane and I off along with the rest of our things and Kola. I asked him to double check the car before coming back out to meet us at the park to make sure we got everything. Of course, he didn’t and we ended up with hot dogs with no buns. Oh, well.  It’s not like it was 4:20 and I don’t have Mary with me, wait, it is 4:20, and I can’t find Mary anywhere, just like last year.  Besides the few beers I drank, I was totally sober. Wo is me. Anyhow, Dave, Jack and Tim are playing live, I’m pretty sure I’ll be alright.

The night before I saw a lot of dogs at the park. It made me feel like a terrible mom, so I promised myself that I would take Kola out the next day.

This isn’t what it looks like. Shane bought Rolling Rock beer and totally overlooked that it wasn’t a twist off. None of us had a bottle opener so for the first hour or so he was trying to get it to open under my jacket.

This is me in my macro phase of my amateure photography skills.

One big happy family.

Ona and Jen made it out and they brought the Dolphin Crew with them, and another little Asian.

This girl here is what we call a Super Slut. She was totally making out with this guy so much that she had a whole circle of an audience with her in the middle. Hello people, Dave is playing and your more interested in live porn.  Actually, I was guilty of it myself and had Jen walk with me to the back side of them so I could snap a photo of her ass, because it looked like a lot of it was showing from our direction. When we got around I couldn’t believe my eyes, this girl had her WHOLE bare ass showing, thong and everything. It was narly. I tried to take a photo but my camera wouldn’t focus and then of course they decide to change positions.

But here’s an earlier video I took of them.

Kokua Festival Whore from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Jen and Ona aren’t in love at all.

By the end of the night Kola started getting cold so Ray put him in his sweater.

Everybody loves Kola.

It was a rockin concert.  This will probably be our last time at a event outside the Shell.  I had a bitchin time and got to hang out with good friends.  Life is good right now.

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So I did it again, I quit Sergio’s. I quit there once before, but after much consideration I decided to stay there once a week, Tuesdays.  After coming to grips with the fact that we’re moving, I realized that I need to put my two weeks in soon otherwise there won’t be two weeks to put in.  I really respect my boss, so I didn’t want to just quit without giving the proper two weeks.  Since I was only there once a week and Brian is super cool, he said it was cool if I wanted to just have last Tuesday be my last night.  It was fine with me, so now I don’t work at Sergio’s anymore.  But, the chef there did ask me to come back to take some photos of the food.  Even though I’m probably not going to do it, it was cool to actually get asked to take some photos for a business.  As most of you know I’m a photo whore and when I get to Austin I’m thinking about taking my passion for photography more serious.  Along with quiting at Sergio’s I also quit the Cheese.  However, that was another story.  I debated for a long time if I should even put my two weeks in there or if I should just be a total bitch and just quit one day.  My conscious got the best of me and I decided to just give proper notice.  I’m glad I did because I musta caught Kealoha on a good day because she was super cool about the whole thing, so cool that I even asked if she was happy to see me go.  Anyhow, I finally quit both places this time, and this time it’s for reals, which means I’m just that much closer to moving to Austin.

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