Bea’s flying in which means we have no choice but to drive up to Dallas to go run her belly. Oh, don’t know if I mentioned it yet, but Bea’s prenant. Yay! I’ve never seen a pregnant woman so effing adorable.

Kuya benn looks good in a hat and I don’t care what anyone has to say I rock in my clip-ons.

I snapped a photo just as Ray threw a ball on Ben as he was sleeping. Oh how we love to torment him. Poor Ben.

Before we head home Ray finally gets to work on his car with his dad.

It’s Bill’s birthday and this year his girlfriend decided to throw him a surprise Gangsta 80′s themed birthday.

Themed parties, count me in. I finally have a reason to buy those high top converse I’ve had my eyes on.

Our new BFF’s Lauren and Blake.

Bill arrives, check out the video.

Bill’s Surprise Birthday Party from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

The line up.

Gangstas Boys.

All the gangsta ladies.

Don’t judge her.

Those must be some good wings.

Come on, just give him a kiss already.

What happens in the ladies room stays in the ladies room.

My new BFF’s.

Good times.

The pizza guy arrived the and all the ladies swooned to him.

Bill it’s time to take it off.

And get wet. I love this photo.

No birthday would be complete without cake.

Bill’s Birthday Cake Blow Out from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

I totally look like Eircle here with my shorts so high up and camera around my neck.

I wouldn’t mess with them.

Gangsta love.

Toward the end of the night we gathered everyone around to played games. Someone tell that annoying little Asian to sit her ass down.

What a great party.

Today was our first day hanging out with our new friend Blake outside of Catz. We grilled up some food on the BBQ and soaked up the sun by the pool side. It was a fun filled day.

Untitled from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Later that night Blake took us to the Hula Hut.

It was right on the lake and everything.

After dinner Blake took us to Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar.

Where he danced his heart out on stage.

Blake Getting Down at Pete’s Dueling Piano Bar from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

I actually got up on stage too but luckily no one recorded that.

Ray came down with the worst case of sun burn he ever had, so bad that he wouldn’t let me post the photos of him up on here but after poking fun and taking a bunch of photos of him I came across this in a magazine I was reading and then felt bad.

Astronaut Ice Cream

Normally you couldn’t get me to pay 1.99 for one ice cream sandwich, but this isn’t any ordinary ice cream sandwich, this is astronaut ice cream, the stuff they eat in space . . . NOT.  Actually my friend Marco’s works for NASA and he said this stuff never made it to the moon. Well it might not have made it to the moon but rest assure it will make it to the cavernous abyss of my mouth, where it will get swallowed up never to be seen again. I promise you that.

Astronaut Ice Cream

I couldn’t wait to get home and sample this foreign object. I examined it first. It was hard, not hard like I could use it as brass knuckles and beat you with it because it was super light, like hard styrofoam.  It’s not something I would crave on a hot summer’s day but if it were lying around the house and I happen to be walking by I would definitely pick it up as a quick snack out of mere boredom. You know, this would be the perfect dessert food to bring along while camping.

Here’s Ray’s analysis of it.

Astronaut Ice Cream from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

There you have it, Astronaut ice cream. Go out and try it for yourself.

My friend Guav has a mom who I know by Guav Mom, no not Guav’s mom, but Guav Mom. She’s a kind, gentle woman and one of her favorite hobbies and talents is crochet. She’s bad ass at it and can make damn near anything. After our first visit she already ask me if I want her to make me a hat. Sure I love hat’s. Actually I love almost anything free but what I really love is things that were made especially for me from people I love. Now that’s one of my favorite things in the whole wide world. I was visiting Bea and Guav over in the east coast at the time and within about a week of meeting Guav Mom I recieve a package in the mail. My beautiful hat has arrived. She made it perfectly to fit my head so that it doesn’t cover my eyes when I pull it all the way down like most hats do on my head, leaving me looking like a condom head and that’s not cool. So a few weeks back a recieved yet another package in the mail, Gauv Mom had made me a shaw to go with my hat. I love it. You can’t see, but the top is angled so that it rest behind the back of ny neck perfectly. I love that she pays attention to small details like that. Well I love my new hat and shaw and I love that Guav has a mother that’s as sweet as strawberry cupcakes with buttercream frosting and I think I love Guav Mom.

Dallas here we come again. I don’t remember exactly why we drove up this time but it was a busy trip. First we met Steven at Ten on Main Street. Frank a.k.a D.J. Love was D.J.ing that night and I finally got to see him in action. Check it out.

Frank a.k.a D.J. Love @ Ten on Main from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

The next day we met everyone at La Cubanita.

Me and pops.

My order and it was so good.

Mable was in town, yay! Wow, they totally already look like a family.

After brunch we headed to Dallas Black Dance Theatre where Nycole teaches dance.

We got the V.I.P tour of the place and even got the see her students perform an African dance for us. Check it.

Dallas Black Dance Theatre from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Then a bunch of us went to the mall with where we met Bernh and her family for movie time fun.

For dinner we went to Benihana or was it Kobe steak house?

The next day we ate at some well known burger joint.

But the best part of our trip was going to Sprinkles. Can you believe I never heard about this place until today?

It was amazing.

And later we went out for Vietnamese, another one of my favorites.

The next morning we took pops out to Cafe Brazil.

Ray’s food.

My food. What can I say, I like salads.

Culver's

I’m not really what you call a burger and fries kind of gal but I do enjoy more than my fair share of desserts. It was our first time here and we’ve come to the conclusion that it’s all just mediocre food and that’s me being nice. In my opinion there’s just too much good stuff going on in Austin to have mediocre food in my belly.

Culvers from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Culver's

My first Friendsday Wednesday at Red Robin with Suzi, and Sparrow.

Sliders

I decided to make sliders for dinner tonight and completely rocked it. Yeah!  Can you tell which plate is vegan and which isn’t?

Sliders

I’m not gonna lie though, I baked the fries to bloody hell. I didn’t mind it so much, but I tend to like my food burnt to a crisp. It’s just that I really wanted to make my husband a perfect dinner tonight, ah well. Next time honey. Ray did mention that my sliders were the best he ever had in the entirety of his life. What can I say, I’m bad ass.

Maki Sushi

Today Ray and I went to Maki Sushi. The place is polished off with a modern retro design.

Maki Sushi

But unlike most sushi restaurants you order at the counter. The procedure is very much similar to the way you order a sandwich at sub shop. You pick the ingredients you want, they roll it, you pay, sit and then bon appetite. I applaud them for taking chances but call me old fashion, I’d rather just order something off the menu, which is exactly what I did. I got the special of the day.

Maki Sushi

A little too much creamy stuff going on. It was good but definitely tasted nontraditional, or Americanized, or like a white person that was given 2 hours of training on the art of rolling sushi made it, which was probably the case.

Ray bought one of those weird but yummy Asian drinks that has some kind of odd contraption on it. If you’ve had it before then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Maki Sushi

For even more delicious this drink . . .

Maki Sushi

But the best part of this meal was the bubbies ice cream balls. Bubbies is a Hawaii company; Ray and I use to go there all the time when we lived in Hawaii. You can read about it here and here.

Maki Sushi

Orgasmic.

maki.us.com

I must of made a really good impression on Brandi because before we left Shiner’s last night she invited me out to brunch. Fuck yeah, I love eating. I’ve never been to Shoal Creek Saloon but they can bet on seeing more of me in the future. They have a very inviting patio out back, large television so you sports fans can watch the game and fresh craw fish galore. There’s nothing better than getting your hands dirty, watching the game over a few bloody Marys and beers with a group a friends on a Sunday afternoon. What could be better?

Shoal Creek Saloon

What could be better? Ask and you shall receive. As we where heading out this is what walked right past us.

Just another Sunday stroll

Oh boy, oh boy! I effing heart Austin. What a great place to live!  Brought back fond memories of living in San Francisco when this walked by . . .

San Francisco, CA

One of my favorite places to go in Austin is down around Lady Bird Lake, also know as Town Lake. On July 26 2007, the Austin City Council passed a resolution authorizing the renaming of the reservoir from Town Lake to Lady Bird Lake in honor of Lady Bird Johnson, the former First Lady of the United States and a long-time resident of the Austin area. It was so confusing in the beginning because we were told it was Lady Bird Lake, and then there were signs that said Town Lake, we didn’t know what lake we  were at.

Ray and Stevie Ray Vaughan

In 1994, the city of Austin erected the Stevie Ray Vaughan Memorial Statue at Auditorium Shores on Lady Bird Lake, the site of a number of Vaughan’s concerts. It has become one of the city’s most popular tourist attractions and definitely was one of ours when we first moved to Austin. Stevie Ray Vaughan is Ray’s all time favorite guitarist and musician. He’ll try to test me sometimes by asking, “who’s my favorite guitar player?” or if we’re walking by the statue, “do you know who this is?” I made sure I knew.

Lady Bird Lake

During this time SXSW was still in effect but the interactive part was over and the focus was music and film. The parks were busy with concert stuff and for some reason these mushrooms were placed randomly on the side of the park. I don’t know, I totally dig it and hope they’re here to stay. If I could I would steal them and place them in the backyard of my home, but I don’t have a backyard and there’s not enough room in my little Scion for these mushrooms.

Take a closer look, not at the guy on the motorcycle but the dog in the basket. The dog is wearing a helmet and sun glasses. How effing cute is that. Excuse me while I throw up. I’m going out to get Kola a set of matching swim trunks to match my bikini so we can look this cute when we’re out at the lake this summer.

These days I do more cooking than I did when my parents owned the Golden Dragon. Only this time it’s things like chicken cordon bleu, lamb skewers and shrimp enchiladas instead of pork fried rice and shrimp chow mein. I’m not gonna lie, it doesn’t always turn out as tasty as I’d hope but that’s okay because I always strive to do better the next time around. Ray’s great about giving me his honest opinion because he knows that I appreciate it. Brutal honest is a beautiful thing.

Lamb and shrimp skewers for my baby. The shrimp was great but the lamb was another story. I think I might have marinated the lamb too long because they turned out a bit mushy. At least that’s the feedback I got. I deal with lamb like hardly ever so I definitely practice there.

My tofu and fish ball skewers were awesome though. I loved it. They were nicely done and had great flavor. Kudos for me in that department.

You know, they say the way to a man’s heart is through his belly. I’m not sure if that’s completely true, but what I do know is that it is through mine and that is why I love myself so effing much.

I’m pretty sure Ray and I found our new Wednesday hot spot at the Village Alamo Drafthouse. Every Wednesday at around 9:30 or 10:00 they play two episodes of Lost, an episode from the prior week and one from the current week. It works out great because last week Ray and I were an episode behind and by the time we left the Alamo Drafthouse we were not only all caught up but we got to watch two spanking hot episodes in a row on the big screen, without commercials and while eating food and delicious dessert. It works out too if your not behind because Lost gets to be so confusing that it helps to watch the prior week even if you had already seen it. Now if your not a Lost junkie like we are then you mine as well skip this post and move on to the next one, no offense but you just wouldn’t understand. Now if your all confused and just can’t seem to get a grasp on it check out this site I found a while back. It totally cleared a few things up for me.

Lost @ The Village Alamo Drafthouse

If your thinking about coming better come early, or get your tickets online because they sell out every show. The reason why Ray and I were behind last week was because we were denyed entry the week before because they had sold out.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

Yeah, so I’m a little late on current news, what can I say, I’ve been busy making shit happen but a lot has happen since and I finally got some time to tell you all about it.

First Chris flew in but he flew in for a different conference, it just so happens that his ran into the week SXSW began. One of the first things we did was go to Buffalo Billiards for a few games of pool,

Buffalo Billiards

where Ray opened a can of whoop ass on us, as usual and Chris and I played the longest game of pool in history. To make Chris feel better about loosing so bad Ray let him teach him how to play foosball and pretend to really care.

Buffaalo Billiards

What a boring game.

Foosball

Chris knew more about the bar scene downtown than we did, which really doesn’t surprise me. He took us to one of his favorite bars called Legends Sports Bar to end the night.

Legends Sports Bar and Grill

The next day Beau flew in and that’s when South By South West really started for us.

Beau, the Victim

Beau is a super nerd and definitely one of the smartest friends we have. He was way more involved in SXSW and was even there to represent Word Press.

Beau, the Super Nerd

We bar hopped to a bunch of random bars that I don’t really remember, but what I do remember is that is was cold as fuck.

Beau, the Alcoholic

So the best thing about the picture right above is the man standing behind Beau. I was actually trying to slyly take a photo of him by pretending to take a photo of Beau. I obviously wasn’t that sly because the dude knew and looked right at me and smiled for the photo. Unfortunately he’s not in focus but if he were you’d see that he had a tiny telescope attached on the right part of his glasses. He just walked around the bar like that the whole time. It was weird, creepy and hilarious.

Maria Maria

Later on Ray, Chris and I had dinner at Maria Maria. It was a cute place but the service was shitty. There was a long piece of hair in my appetizer and  on top of having meat in my entree it was super salty. I sent my meal back and got dessert instead. After dinner we went around to a few more bars that I don’t remember. I took a cab home shortly after though because too much drinking fuels my fire. I’m not much of a drinker and sometimes being around certain people I can’t help but to get rubbed the wrong way where all I want to do is connect faces to my dark, brown, sexy boots. Going home was definitely the right choice because the Universe saw my nasty mood and delivered the perfect cab driver right to me. By the time I arrived at my destination I was in a completely different state of mind. It’s funny how different people can manage to bring out the best and worst in some. Ray stumbled home with Beau, Chris and our good friend Steven Ray some time later that night.

Ray Hernandez, photo by Beau Lebens

The next day I was on my own because the boys went off to do what they do best, be super nerds. They created a “Photo with Beau Scavenger Hunt Contest” that night that I followed on FaceBook every time they tweet about it. At around 3 in the morning the boys stumbled in and Ray got scalded for not calling me all day and night. Bad husband.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon, photo by Beau Lebens

I did tag along the next day though. I was actually signed up for one event, the Word Press BBQ Luncheon. They had me at free food and organic vegan cupcakes.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

I took the last of the cupcakes.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

Sorry Chris.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

We hit the bars after the barbecue.

Moonshine Patio Bar & Grill

Later on that night we ended up at the Tumblr party.

SXSW Tumblr Party

They had me at open bar.

SXSW Tumblr Party

Ray was a fan of the open bar too.

SXSW Tumblr Party

Steven was planning on leaving that night back to Dallas so we didn’t want to stay out too late. We sobered up at the coffee shop next door and bid one another farewell. I was ready to be home, but poor Ray, he had to head back out in a few hours to pick up drunken Beau.

The next day we grabbed lunch at Woodland Restaurant on South Congress and drove the last of our guests to the airport.

Woodland Restaurant

Creamy Tomato Soup @ Woodland Restaurant

Woodland Restaurant

Cover 3

Ray and I had dinner or lunch here a while back. It’s a nice sports bar, the kind of place where you see a lot of pretentious assholes in suits.

I like the big screens they had throughout the place.

Cover 3

Cover 3

Food wasn’t bad either.

Cover 3

Cover 3

Dinner @ Alo in Dallas

So Ben calls in the morning, “I’m picking Bea up from the airport now, are you guys coming up?” “Uh, well we weren’t exactly planning on it but since you use Bea against me, yes, yes we are.” That’s the story of our life, we never make plans but somehow we always have them, spontaneously. Mable was already in Dallas and we had put off driving up to see them in hopes that they would give in and just drive down to see us instead. I’m so tired of traveling but since we were going for just one day I guess it wouldn’t be that bad.

Me and Mabel

We made plans for everyone to meet at Alo, a cute little restaurant in Dallas. Wow, I didn’t expect so many people to show up. One thing led to another and before we knew it we were waiting on a table for 11. Kuya Vince came, Bernah and Sam, Raul and his wife, even Dad decided to come along. It was awesome.

Mabel, Awesome Person, Bea

I got to finally met Mabel for the first time. It’s true, she’s more alluring in person than she is via chat and FaceBook. But the best part of the night was the tummy rub I got to give Bea. I mean what kind of friends would we be if we didn’t come see one of our bestest friends and rub her pregnant belly for the first time. Yes, you heard right, I’m going to be a new auntie come August. I can’t wait!

Delicious Food

A great way to celebrate is with dessert. Famous Berry 4 Leches Cake above, $7.75. Yes 4 and not the usual 3. It was awesome, but I’ve had better and for a lot less. We couldn’t just get one. As they say variety is the spice of life, this is certainly true when one is dealing with dessert. We also ordered Josefina: hazelnut – caramelized sugar pastry, vanilla bavarian cream & berries, $7.75. Josefina is like an overrated prostitute. On the outside she’s luscious, sexy and overpriced but once you get a taste of her you’ll soon come to find she doesn’t put out a lot of action. She was also so difficult to eat that Ben and Mabel gave up on her early and left her all to me. Hey when it comes to desserts I’ll take sloppy seconds. Everything at Alo was actually hit or miss. My drink was orgasmic. Mabel and Sam’s rice was dog food. Ray’s enchiladas was right on and the service sucked sour dragon  balls.

Delicous Food

Ben, Mabel and I shared because sharing is caring and not sharing will get you killed.

Dinner At Alo

Girls on one side of the table and boys on the other. It was like we were speed dating. Sheesh, my date sucks, how many more minutes do I have with this loser. I kid, I kid. Your the king of Awesome honey, don’t ever let anyone tell you different.

Speed Dating @ Alo

Anyhow, after dinner we went to a Sherlock Pub but it was so crowded that we left and decided to go bowling instead. Yes bowling, because we’re crazy like that. But 300 Dallas had a wait of 1 hour and 30 minutes so fuck that. We ended up at a dive karaoke bar called Outer Marker. I said it once and I’ll say it many many times again, dive bars rock. No one karaoked but I give Ben props because he really wanted to go up there, just not alone and all of us bailed on him. Sorry Kuya Ben maybe next time.

Outer Marker Karaoke Bar

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

Hey it’s the weekend of Marti Gra and looks who happens to be in town . . . yep our buddy Marcos and he brings with him a lovely lady friend, Heather and it just so happens to be her birthday. Ray and I actually had no idea it was Marti Gra until were already out but it definitely made it easier on us to show them a good time.

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

First we met them at Progress Coffee, because Ray had read somewhere that they have amazing sandwiches, and if you know Ray you’d know he’s crazy about his sandwiches. Ray ordered a turkey, bacon and guacamole sandwich and it sucked balls. The sandwich was super dry but the coffee shop itself was really nice and artsy. I’m sure they have really nice coffee and fast internet too.

Progress Coffee

Afterwards we headed down to 6th Street. Luckily we got there early and scored sweet parking, walked around for a bit, got dessert at the Old Pecan Cafe, my idea of course and then spent the rest of our night at the Coyote Ugly Saloon.

Since we got there early we also scored a pretty sweet table right smack in front of all the action. At first there wasn’t much people there but as the night progressed the more chaotic it got. At the Coyote Ugly they don’t discriminate. They’re all about empowering intoxicated females to connect with their inner whore. Come one come all, hotties, fatties, milfs, and sluts come dance on the bar for just one dollar. Why is this our first time here?

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

I love it when fatties get up there because they always dance the dirtiest. It’s great entertainment.

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

Ray tried to spice things up a bit by waging war between Marcos and Heather. Marcos had to go buy Penis Head a drink and Heather had to go buy some random dude a drink and who ever did it first wins keeps their honor.

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

Marcos dominated like a champ. Without any hesitation he got up, walked over to the other side of the bar where Penis Head was already being hit on by another dude and asked if it was alright if he bought her a shot. She musta felt like a beauty queen all night. Oh, by the way this is Penis Head. You know the part in the movie Coyote Ugly where the main character asks the owner why she named her bar Coyote Ugly and she says something like, “you know when you wake up the next morning to find someone so repulsive you want to gnaw off your arm, that’s coyote ugly.” Well whoever brings home Penis Head won’t know what’s that like at all.

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

She was a little crossed eyed and the craziest thing is that she only started out with half as many beads as you see here, left the bar for about 10 minutes and then came back with twice as much. Marco’s goes, “look, she has more beads!” I guess you just had to be there  because it was really funny. And later after Marcos bought her a drink she walks by him and throws him her tongue or it could of been a weird twitch. It hard to determine since her eyes are a bit crossed we don’t know if she was looking at him or not.

And this is a video of her sweet dancing skills.

Dancing Penis Head from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Marcos and I rocked out to Journey.

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

Ray did a lot of screaming.

Marti Gra, Coyote Ugly

Unfortunately we had to cut the night short because Heather’s dad called and was in distress, or something like that. Oh well, it was fun while it lasted. The streets were packed by the time we walked out and on the way to the car we even got to see some titties.

Marti Gra

Hill Country Excursion

We’ve moved to Austin about 8-9 months ago and it suddenly dawned on me that we have yet to take advantage of it’s beautiful county side so when Ray asked me what I wanted to do today I said, “let’s go to Mount Bonnell.” I looked it up on line and soon we were out the door.

Hill Country Excursion

I expected a long vigorous hike, but it was lots of stairs up and then a really nice view of Lake Travis instead. But who could be disappointed with a view like this.  Just looking at the lake made me so excited for summer to get here so we could finally put our boat to good use. Man, would I love to have a vacation getaway here. I mean seriously, check out the size of some of those homes.

Hill Country Excursion

There was a little bit of a hike though, but don’t expect a workout unless your fat and out of shape. With benches and tables it’s a perfect place to pack a lunch and just enjoy the scenery. I kinda wish I would of found this place before Ray’s birthday so I had some place nice and free for us to drive to in the awesome Ram Charger I gave him.

Hill Country Excursion

After Mount Bonnell we went on a excursion through the beautiful Hill Country and boy am I glad we did. The drive was gorgeous and really made us thing about getting our hands on some acres out here. It’s so nice to know we live so close to all this.

Hill Country Excursion

Honey, get off your damn iPhone, your on my time right now, sheesh!

Hill Country Excursion

Family day wouldn’t be complete without Kola.

Hill Country Excursion

Messing around with the camera, as I always do.

Hill Country Excursion

Litter bug. Hey, “don’t mess with Texas,” that means don’t fucking litter you selfish bastard or I’m gonna donkey punch your ass.

Hill Country Excursion

Ray and iPhone.

Hill Country Excursion

Kola found a dead fish. Gross!

Hill Country Excursion

The happy couple.

Hill Country Excursion

I found a small wooden post sticking out of the ground and laid my camera atop it for a family photo.

Hill Country Excursion

Yippie Kai Yay!

Hill Country Excursion

Hip hip hooray!

Hill Country Excursion

Or as my best bud Jack MFD would put it, “Dunt da da dun . . . Fuck Yeah!

Hill Country Excursion

Waiting on me.

Hill Country Excursion

It was a good day.

My Favorite Guys

I ran eight miles today, but had to stop midway for a photo shoot. Selena this one’s for you.

Wake Up Birthday Boy

Yay! The 15th is finally here, and that means it’s Ray’s birthday. Wake up sleeping beauty, I got a surprise for you and your gonna love it.

It’s been Ray’s dream for some time now to find and reunite back with his first car and resurrect her from the dead, but of course finding his original 89′ Dodge RamCharger was out of the question so when we got back from Houston I set out on a quest in search for the second best 89′ Dodge RamCharger and guess what, I found her, right here in Austin Texas of all places. I think it was destiny. So now I had to strategically devise the best way to retrieve this Beast of a car since Ray and I are practically joint at the hip and because I’m not yet geographically inept to be driving on my own in Austin, especially since my sancho, Tom Tom was kidnapped from me in New York. Well as we all know trickery and deceit comes fairly natural for me. I was born a professional con-artist. With the directions jotted down in my note book I tricked Ray into driving me right to the place I needed to be the next day to pick up the car. I memorized the route as he drove down this street and that, turning here, making u-turns there.”Why do you want to go down Ceasar Chavez,” he says. “Because we got our vegan wedding cake on that street and I just want to go down and see the store again,” I responded. The next day I compiled a long list of grocery items and set out “grocery shopping” because I know Ray recoils at the mere thought of idling around a grocery store for too long, which just happens to be one of my favorite pass-time activities. Beside a few minor battle scars that Riccardo forgot to mention in the Craigs List ad the car seemed to be in pretty good condition. I used the battle wounds to my advantage and haggled a sweet deal and since there was only one of me and two cars I kindly requested Riccardo to followed me back home, where we dropped off the Beast on the other side of the parking lot and then I had to transport Riccardo back home. Oh, I also asked Riccardo to e-mail both Ray and I back the next day stating that the car was no longer available just in case Ray had any inclination of what I was up to. Three and a half hours later I Ray phones me, “honey, where are you, I’m hungry,” he wines. I make up this huge long lie about how I got lost twice, went to Whole Foods and lingered around the beauty section for hours, then the Indian Grocery Store, and now I’m going back to HEB Grocery Store for a second time to pick up a few items I forgot the first time around. I arrive home after four hours of leaving and rustled up dinner for my husband as quickly as I could. I know, I know, I’m the best wife to ever have walked this earth. I hear it all the time.

The next four days were difficult because they were filled with anxiousness and stress. There were days you can see the Beast as clear as day on the other end of the parking lot. I counted down the days and every night while he slept I would devise the best way to present to him his gift. What seemed to be to be an awesome idea in the middle of the night would never fail to seem too elaborative the next day. Finally I just decided to keep it simple and sweet, yet still creative and fun. On the morning of his birthday I woke up extra early, shit, showered and shaved, minus the shower and the shave and filmed this in the parking lot.

For Ray from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

If you keep up with my blog, you might have already seen it. Whatever I was planning on doing I had to do it fast because the Beast had hardly any gas; I wasn’t sure if she would even be able to even make it to the gas station. The first two tries was a disaster but 3 times is always a charm or in this case, good enough. I forgot to zoom the camera out which made the video all grainy, but like I said, good enough. When I was done filming I had to park the car outside where Ray would easily see it as soon as he came out of the building after watching the video. Luckily, we scored rock star parking the night before so I gave the Beast my parking spot, which meant now I had to re-park the Scion upstairs. I scurried back home filled with excitement and woke him up, “lets go eat, I’m hungry, hurry, get up. It’s your birthday, aren’t you excited? I’m excited for you. I’m starving. Let go get some breakfast. I’m so hungry.” While he was getting ready I uploaded the video on to Vimeo and posted it on to my awesome blog. As I finished I told him I would meet him downstairs and to go over to my computer and read todays post on my site and then I left. I waited for him so totally impatiently down stairs, ready to film his reaction when he got down.

On Ray’s Birthday from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Yes, yes, I know, the best wife ever. I know

I was expecting more of a reaction for the car but he just wanted to love on me first before checking it out. We then quickly got gas and test drove the Beast on our way to Juan in a Million, another famous landmark here in Austin and another restaurants featured on the Man vs Food show. Well, it was Sunday and the line was out the door and practically wrapped around the corner. Sorry, even if you were one in a million, it wouldn’t be worth it for me to wait in that line. Actually, in opinion, no Mexican food is ever worth a line, but hey, that’s my opinion and I’m entitled to it. We headed for the Waffle House next but took the back road since both the inspection and registration was expired on the Beast. The Waffle House ended up being just as packed. Sorry Waffle House, even your not worth waiting in line for. So we drove around until we ended back around our neck of the woods at Mimi’s Cafe, still packed but the wait was do-able. After our delicious meal we went home, grabbed some towels and Ray gave his Beast a bath, while I stayed in my car with Kola and read.

Bathing the Beast

Bathing the Beast

All clean and pretty, but still butch-like.

Pretty Beast

Sorry, no hubcaps on this side.

Pretty Beast

Pretty Beast

Time to douche the Beast with armor all. Wax on wax off, Ray Danial-Son.

Douching The Beast From The Inside Out

After the car wash we went home, got ready and headed back out, this time to down-town Austin. We went to one other bar before it got too cold for me to bare sitting outside so we left and ended up here at the Flying Saucer for another round of drinks.

Flying Saucer

And then it was getting past our bed times so we headed back home, but before we did we grabbed some dinner at Mighty Fine Burgers. I don’t know if the burgers were mighty fine or not but the milkshakes most definitely was.

Mighty Fine Burgers

Happy birthday honey. I love you.

The Millionaire Next Door

Reading has always been one of my favorite pass-time activities. I don’t really have any favorites but the books that I usually gravitate towards are financial books. This is the book I am currently reading. The title basically explains it all, a book about a 20 year study about the typical millionaire. A lot of people you know could very well be a millionaire, just a modest one that lives below his means and most people that you think would easily be a millionaire aren’t. They’re what the book calls “big hat not cattle.” (I love that expression by the way). They’re pretentious people living in extravagant homes, driving flashy leased out cars and wearing fancy suits but when it comes down to it the bank owns them and they ain’t got shit. This book hasn’t really taught me jack. Growing up with a frugal ass mom has taught me a lot about the secret lives of millionaires and how they really operate. Just take a look at any Chinese person living in a high populated Chinese community, the more impecunious they seem the richer they are, I promise you. The only people I’ve ever known to pay for cars right off the lot in cash is Chinese. This was the way that I thought cars were suppose to be bought when I was a kid. You buy it when you have enough dough to claim it. Make sense right? Every single Chinese person I know that owns a car has bought it with cash, in two to three separate payments so they don’t get audited and it’s the only reason they make house payments but I don’t know a single Chinese that kept making a payment on a home longer than 5 to 10 years, 10 years is pushing it. If you do know a Chinese and none of this applies to them then I promise you they are Americanized. Am I right? It’s the American way to pay for things on credit. We’re trained to be “big hat no cattle.” Take a look at me. The longer I live in American the more Americanize I’ve become, especially living in communities where I am the minority. I’ve own 4 cars in my life. The first two was paid for the “Chinese way,” 3rd car had a large down payment and basically was the beginning of me letting the “American way” put her leash on me. The down payment on my fourth car, the one I currently drive, but share ownership with the bank with, was so shamefully Americanize that I dare not ever tell my mother the real figures. It’s been 3 years I’ve been making payments on this car and my mother still can’t believe that her daughter chooses to “throw money out of her pockets,” and she never fails to remind me every time we meet. The thing is the older I get and the more credit card debt I try to dig myself out of and the more payments I have on material items I share with the banks the more I come to realize that mom’s really are almost always right. So the moral of my long rant is, take a look at your neighbor, are they Chinese because if they are they just might be a millionaire and you should make proper arrangements to befriend them.

The Chinese Are Taking Over The World

Riding Dirty

The weekday is here and that means nothing to us. Monday, Friday, Sunday, it’s all the same day. Hell most of the time we don’t even know what month were in. If you want to know the truth, I’m writing this now at exactly 2:47 a.m. while Ray is playing Need For Speed on his Play Station.

It’s kinda sad but one of the reasons I was looking forward to coming home from Houston was because of freaking donuts, but in my defense this isn’t just any ordinary donut, it’s a massive, soft toilet seat of a donut.

How Many Donuts Fit Inside One Box?

I don’t know if you heard of the Man VS Food show or not, but it’s basically a show about a man that eats a lot of food, you know my dream job. Well there was this episode where he was eating this ginormous donut in Round Rock, which happens to be just next door to Austin. I’m really not a crazy donut fan but I do like my fair share of sweet goodness in my mouth, and I’m also a sucker for icons and landmarks.

One Sweet Glorious Donut

Round Rock Donut is not your average donut shop. People wait out the door for this giant whoopi cushion, which definitely makes it a landmark. Personally, I don’t really get the whole donut for breakfast thing. Trust me I’m not one to ever knock on sweet treats, but seriously lets just think about it here for a moment. Donuts have long been an American breakfast staple but why. How come it’s okay to eat bread covered with sugar, chocolate, sprinkles and all kinds of sweet heavenly goodness in the morning? Why not ice-cream, or ice-cream cake? Cookies? Brownies? Pie? At least ice-cream has some sort of nutritional value. Of course none of these are an acceptable way to start your day off with, especially for children, which is why I can’t understand why so many parents allow their kids to eat them. As a matter of fact, it’s probably the worst piece of food you could start your day off with. They are loaded with sugar, refined flour, saturated fat and partially hydrogenated oil trans fat all of which happen to increase the risk of heart disease. And fruit or jelly donuts is concocted from sugar, corn syrup, corn cereal, partially hydrogenated oil, natural and artificial flavors and dyes. Now why would anyone want to start their day off like this or allow their kids to? This contradiction kinda makes you think about why America is fat as fuck and that maybe our diets should be revised just a tad bit, but in the mean time, lets eat!

Round Rock Donuts

After our healthy breakfast we went home and took a nap for hours and then we woke up to take a donut shit and then we went back to sleep. Actually, we decided to work off all the empty calories we just ingested so we headed to a local bike store where Ray got his bike tighten and we bought a bike rack for our car because now that were riding our bikes all the time it’s becoming a pain in the ass to load both of them up into our tiny car and besides we look so sporty driving around with a bike rack on our car now. It took us a long time to get our bike rack situated in the parking lot, but once we did we loaded our bikes and drove South of Austin.

Riding Dirty

It was a good day.

Riding Dirty

American Citizen

It’s official, I’m finally a citizen of the United States of America and it feels phenomenal. If nothing else amazing happens this year I wouldn’t be at all disappointed because this is definitely a big one for me.

American Citizen

I called the INS recently because my 3rd application was still pending. Just knowing I have to deal with the INS leaves me with a feeling of apprehension and anxiety. It’s such a stressful situation to be in, especially for me and every time I get off the phone with them I dispise them even more and I’m left in tears. You know when you feel like nothing ever goes right for you and no matter what you do shit just keeps on fucking up. Well that’s the way the INS has been for me. And even then it’s just one of those things I know I have to deal with and just get through, like taxes. So it was on my to do list and finally when all was checked off and the only thing left on the to do list was call the INS I had no choice but to adhere. Like I said my application was still pending and I was calling to inquire about the status. In December I sent in a birth certificate along with an English translation for it, a letter from the translator, my mom, stating that the translation was true and another letter from myself stating why my parents wedding certificate was not included because they had asked for that as well but I was unable to deliver it because it was destroyed in the Vietnam War. So after talking to Maria, the officer handling my case, she made me feel as though there was no way around not having it and that my only option was to travel back to Vietnam to retrieve it, but in the mean time she would consult her supervisor on the matter. So again I was left in tears. First off, how can I travel to Vietnam to attempt to get a copy when I don’t have a passport; it’s not like I could leave the country. And second, when she read me her manual over the phone it even stated that a lot of marriage certificates were destroyed during the Vietnam War, which is exactly how my parents wedding certificate was destroyed, why they don’t have one and exactly what I told them. Maria said she would get back to my by the end of the week but to my surprise she called me back within the hour and asked my for my address so she could send me my certificate. I was dumbfounded at first; did I miss understand her but then her supervisor got on the phone, Patricia and said, “no forget the address can you come in tomorrow to come pick it up.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, “are you serious?” I responded and she snaps back, “I take my job very serious.” Well alright then. The next day Ray and I drove to San Antonio to retrieve my Certificate.

American Citizen

So your probably wondering why it took me 3 tries to attain citizenship. Well let my tell you why. I came into the states on November 2, 1981, when I was just two years of age. Becoming a citizen was the last of my worries because I was too busy being a regular American kid. Finally my parents became citizens when I was 17 years old, before I was 18 which means I officially became a citizen as well, but they were so excited that they didn’t take me in with them to take the oath. So when I turned 19 I applied for citizenship myself. It took them 3 freaking years to process my application only to be denied because I was arrested for shop lifting when I was 14 years young and according to the INS I can’t be approved for citizenship if I was arrested within 5 years of applying. Well if the stupid INS would of told me this when I did apply then all I had to do was to wait a few months then apply. So I get this news 3 years later at age 21. The shitty part is that I didn’t even had to tell them that I was arrested, they never would of found out, but I was just too intimidated so I played by their rules. Also, the INS should of just told me to apply for the N-600 instead which states that I’m a citizen through my parents, but the INS sucks and doesn’t like to help or make things easy for anyone. Years later I applied a again, and was denied yet a second time. This time they said it was because I was already a citizen of the United States through my parents. So while living in Hawaii I try to get a passport but was denied because they needed proof that I was a citizen and to get proof I have to resort back to the INS for a certificate that states that I am a citizen of the United States. So I apply this time for citizenship yet a 3rd time for the N-600 application, which states that I acquire citizenship through my parents. Should be a breeze right, since I got a letter from the INS themselves recognizing that I am already a citizen? Wrong. Nothing is easy when it comes to the INS, at least not for me. So they tell me that I must show my birth certificate and my parents wedding certificate to complete the application, the exact two items that I don’t have. “Go back to Vietnam and get it,” they tell me like it’s an easy trip down the street to Walmart. How, how the fuck do I go back to Vietnam and get it, and even if that were possible what normal non-citizen could just afford to do that. It’s like the hospital expecting me to pay 30 grand in a year. “The hospital will allocate you up to a year to pay off your bill,” they tell me. Really? Fuck you! Trust me, you have no idea of my frustrations. Not to mention, I’m the last of my family to become a citizen. My parents, my younger sister, because she was born in the U.S. and my two older sisters because they were both over 18 years old and had to apply on their own, the way I tried to on my first attempt and not to mention my husband is an American citizen, and English is my main language. Come on, sometimes rules should be bent because whoever invented them obviously missed a few things. Anyone can see that I’m as American as apple pie, just not as sweet. It’s just so gosh darn frustrating seeing people come into this country, don’t even speak a lick of English and become American citizens just like that. Something is obviously wrong with the system here. So that’s my story and now you can understand why this is so BIG for me and even now, after 11 days it’s just barely hitting me.

American Citizen

You know, when your already an American citizen as most of you are, you don’t think about all the privileges you have but when your not, like I use to be, you think about all the privileges you don’t have that should be rightfully yours all the time. The biggest thing for me was not being able leave the country because I was unable to attain a passport. The only reason I was able to go to China was because my parents were able to get me a re-entry permit from China. As handicapped as my parents are for having such broken English they sure do surprise the hell out of me with all the loop holes they manage to get their sneaky little hands on. Seriously, has anyone ever heard of a re-entry permit. I would not even know that exist or was at all possible and I wouldn’t know how to attain one from another country or if they even allow them. It was a pain in the ass going from China to Hong Kong back to China, the Chinese didn’t even know what it was. Well I can’t depend on good O’ mom and dad forever and just thinking about being stuck in one country for the rest of my life makes me hyperventilate. If I think too deeply into it I will want to ripe my skin off from claustrophobia. Now, I can leave the country and travel to my hearts desire or until the money runs out and not only that I can get a job and not worry about any complications, like being denied, having to show my alien card, not being able to get full benefits etc. I can finally change my name to Hernandez. The social security office denied me my name change because they wanted to see proof of citizenship, well now I have it. If I ever win the lottery or jack pot I don’t have to worry about being denied my winnings. I can vote, although I did anyways for Obama. If I ever get arrested at the airport, or anywhere for that matter I will be protected under the United State Laws. Yes! You see, this is the kind of stuff that I thought about, a lot and now I will never ever have to again and that is enough to make 2009 an awesome year.

When we got to the INS building they wouldn’t let us bring in any electronics, no phones or cameras. Bummer because I’ve been waiting over a decade for this moment and I wanted to document it. I always pictured it where I have to take an oath and maybe put my hand on the bible, even though I’m not religious and someone in uniform or a suit handing me my certificate, with the American flag waving in the background, I guess very similar to receiving a diploma. It didn’t happen like that at all. I was put to work as soon as I walked into the room, erasing the gloss on the side of all my photos so I could write my name on it because she was in a hurry to go home on her lunch break to consult with someone she paid to lay dirt on her house. However, my officer liked me so much she practically offered me a job, told me to apply on line @ USjobs.gov or something like that then she handed me my certificate and sent me on my way. I definitely didn’t happen as I had envisioned so Ray and I took the matter into our own hands. Since we were in San Antonio we headed down to the Alamo and took a shit ton of photos, as you can see, of me with my certificate in hand. I even asked the Alamo guards there to take a photo with me and to pretend like they were presenting the certificate to me.

American Citizen

After my pretend glorious ceremony we took a stroll down the River Walk, another one of San Antonio’s famous landmarks.

San Antonio River Walk

Ray bought me candy.

San Antonio River Walk

San Antonio River Walk

And we had lunch at one of the several Mexican options we had to choose from.

San Antonio River Walk

When we got back to Austin Ray and I didn’t stop celebrating. We went to Banana Republic and got me a cardigan and blouse and even got Ray two pairs of slacks. Then we went to the Daily Grill and par-took in their happy hour and I splurged on dessert again.

American Citizen

I’m finally an American Citizen, can you believe it!

Family Day

The weekend is here and I’ve been feeling like a really bad dog owner so to make up for it we’re taking Kola to the river. Not really sure if this constitutes as a river or a lake but I do know that it’s gorgeous and large. I know this because I’ve been jogging here a couple times. Last time was the day before, the morning of my birthday. I know, who goes jogging on their birthday? Yeah, I’m an odd one. Well, not only did I go jogging here on my birthday, I went jogging here and I went hellish far. I just kept jogging and jogging assuming it would eventually swing me around to where I started, but it never did and I ended up getting lost in nowhere land. It went from being gorgeous to being destitute and scary so finally I decided the best thing to do was to turn around and jog back until Ray calls to pick me up. Well, today was dedicated to our Lil Kola Bud. At first parking was a total bitch. I didn’t know this place got so busy on the weekends. But we were determined to make sure Kola had his cake and ate it too.

In the beginning Kola was not really into it. He hates crowds and I think the sweater he was wearing was bogging him down. He walked for about a good 5 minutes before he stopped, looked up to his dad and telepathically said, “pick me up,” and that Ray did. How embarrassing, all these people and all these dogs here and we were the only ones that had to carry our pet. “Kola, what is wrong with you, lazy old fart?”  Finally, I had the crazy idea of taking his sweater off of him and after that he was a ball of fucking sunshine. I guess it was the sweater that was bogging him down.

Family Day

Just a word of advice for all you single and cheating folks out there, a small, adorable dog is the biggest babe magnet. Ray was blocking the P all day and that’s including guys. Again, that’s a  small, cute dog, not small, ugly, yapping, nervous, can’t stop shaking dog. There’s a difference. Kola is hands down small and adorable.

Kola is Fucking Adorable

Any questions? I didn’t think so. Now where was I . . . oh yeah, Family/Kola day. It was a good day for Kola. You can always tell when Kola is super happy because he gallops when he runs.

Family Day

How cute do we look here?

Family Day

Awe they’re so cute together.

Family Day

And then he had to go fuck up his cuteness by throwing a rock at me. Dick.

Family Day

I love you Kola. Everything I do, I do for you. Well not really, but I do have the best of intentions.

Family Day

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me! It’s official, I’m not in my twenties anymore. I always dreaded the day I turned 30 because 30 just seems so old, like I had to instantly get my shit together and be a boring adult but as it turns out, 30 isn’t so bad. As a matter of fact, it’s fucking awesome. I feel great. And in tribute to how I have blossomed into this luminescent figure of awesomeness I decided to get a tattoo, ninja stars, one on both wrist.

Here I am before the tattoo.

Happy Birthday

My wrist are ninja stars free.

Happy Birthday

Drum roll please . . . . . . . . Killer Ninja Stars!

Happy Birthday

Looks awesome right? I got my tattoo at T3xture Tattoo Shop and this is my tattoo artist, Crtzn, pronounced curtains, or cur-tens, either way close enough. After searching online I finally decided he was my guy.

Happy Birthday

I actually got my tattoo late at night on the 29th, so late that it ran into my birthday, the 30th. We did the right wrist first and I came back the next day, on my birthday to finish up with the left side. Later that night Ray insisted that we go do something for my birthday so I let him take me to the movies to watch Taken, awesome movie by the way, but before we did I insisted he take me out for a late night dinner.

Happy Birthday

We weren’t planning on going to the Cheesecake Factory, but I wanted dessert of course and it was close to the movies.

Happy Birthday

Not only was it my birthday this year, but it was also my Golden Birthday. To tell you the truth, I never heard of a Golden Birthday before until recently so it wasn’t that big of a deal to me as it is to some people, like my friend Jack Mother Fucking Dogg with a double G. Which is a bit of a coincidence because this year 8-30-09 is going to be her Golden Birthday and she’s going all out. Nothings really planned yet but we got a few leads. All I can say is it’s going to be legend, wait for it . . . dairy. I just got the box set of How I Met Your Mother by the way. A bigger coincidence, it was just my good friend Bea’s Golden Birthday last year, 8-27-08. So Bea first, then me, and then Jack Mother Fucking Dogg with a double G. Coincidence because were all really close friends. By the way, Golden Birthday just means you turn the age of the date of your birthday.

Agave 969 Homes

Now that were back in California there’s much to do. One of the things I’m starting to hate most about traveling is the getting situated when we get back part. It’s always a one to two day ordeal for me. Also, there’s a few major errands that I can circumvent no longer, like getting our escrow money back. I admit I might have been avoiding the matter because it’s just too sad. Ray and I really had our hearts set on this place, but if I wait any longer there may be a chance that we could lose the money we put down for escrow and that would be so un-Chinese of me.

Agave 969 Homes

Before heading to the office Ray and I drove down to see the house. The cabinetry, tile and counter top we chose has been put in and looks smashing. Kinda sucks because we have to pay for the upgrades we had put in, $500 down the drain, but I’m sure it’s for the best.

Let me just clue you guys in. If you keep up with my post then you know that I recently came down with a horrible case of double pneumonia and was hospitalized for 5 days. Those torturous 5 days cost us about 30 thousand dollars. We didn’t get any of the hospital bills of course until after our money had gone into escrow already. My parents took a trip to see me and when I got better we took them to see the house. They absolutely loved it but my mom basically freaked out and said the house had horrible feng shui, as I knew she would. She pleaded with the real estate agent if they have a different home for us, as though we were buying a car. But I must admit it kinda spooked me because even though I hate to admit it my mom is usually, not always, right. Just as she was when she predicted the bad feng shui in the house I was living in. “In one year something bad will happen to you,” she warned and in one year I got a divorce. With the new year upon us it brought many potential new clients, leads, and work for Ray, almost all of which were coming straight out of Dallas. Ray’s been thinking about partnering up with our good friend Ben, who lives and wants them to get an office in Dallas. This made us think that maybe Austin isn’t the place for us, maybe it’s Dallas? We’re still unsure but as you can see it wasn’t the right time to buy a home for us. It just didn’t feel 100% right so we pulled out and that’s why I want my escrow money back. The end.

Road Trip Up the Mid West Back Home

As you can see from my previous post that our trip to California has been pretty spectacular. We got to talk to Mel, which was our number one goal for coming out in the first place. And on top of that we got to see a shit ton of friends which was pretty awesome because we don’t get to hang out with much friends these days. We extended our stay pretty much as long as we could but the time has come to say good-bye. Since the drive to California was a bit of a drag Ray and I decide to go up the mid west this time. This was actually Ray’s idea. He wanted to a better scenic route but completely failed to realize that it’s January, possibly the coldest month for possibly all the states in the entire year. But hey, Ray’s a smart man, I thought he knew and you know me, I’m just down for the cause.

At first it wasn’t so bad. We went up through Reno, to Tahoe and got to see snow. It was totally exciting and invigorating. Then highway 50 just got flat or just went on for miles and miles without any notice of the last gas station for a while. It got to the point where Ray and I just filled up every time we encountered a gas station for fear of being stranded. At one of the gas stops we even got a sticker from the clerk that reads “I SURVIVED HWY 50 THE LONELIEST ROAD IN AMERICA.”

Stupid HWY 50 Sticker

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

But then it went from the roads being lonely to being extremely lonely and cold.

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

As always Kola managed to stay cozy.

Road Trip Up the Mid West Back Home

We stopped to get gas at a gas station across the street from this one from fear of catching a venereal disease from touching the gas pump. Besides, can you imagine what the rest rooms would of been like here? Gross.

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

After stopping to get gas is when it got scary cold. It was snowing, the roads were icy and wet and we had the Colorado Rockies to conquer. Did I mention we were driving a mini Scion with no 4 wheel drive, no chains on it’s tires and not a lot of power but where it lacks in muscle it makes up for in experience, miles and miles of road trip experience.

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

Besides the car hydroplaning a couple of times and causing traffic because we were going 30 mph in a 60 things went fairly well. I realized that although my car had loads of experience in miles it had no experience in snowy mountain weather. None whatsoever.

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

We stopped at the visitors center for a rest room break. When he got out of the visitors center Ray asks me if it was just him or if the ground was shaking? Humm, that’s weird, while squatting over the toilet it totally seemed like the ground was shaking. Sounds crazy I know but it did, but  I suppose it could of been the high elevation.

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

I finally got my snow board back from Marci while we were in San Francisco. I know it’s kinda out dated but I have a significant bond with my snow board for reasons I’d rather not say, but it’s just special to me. Seeing the snow come down really made me think of all the times I went snow boarding. It’s been years since I’ve been so I guess the next best thing to do is to pretend like we did. So here are the photos to prove it. What, you’ve never seen anyone snow board in leather boots before?

Road Trip Up The Mid West Back Home

Here’s a video of our rest stop break.

Rest Stop Break from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

After the Colorado Rockies Ray and I keep heading east to Kansas. But before we did we called our good friend Amber up for a place to eat in Denver. We got lost, parking was a bitch, it was extremely cold, everyone had a staring problem and we forgot our wallet so we had to walk back to the car  in the freezing cold. Kinda took that as a sign and got fast food instead.

Let me tell you, Kansas was fucking cold. Made Denver look like Honolulu, Hawaii. I hated getting gas in Kansas because that meant we had to stop and someone had to pump gas, get coffee, take Kola to the rest room and even though that someone usually wasn’t me, it still meant that the door would open and the wind would suck out all the warm air in the car and cut your skin like a chain saw. From Kansas we started to descend south toward Texas but before we hit Texas we made one last stop in Greensburg, Kansas. About a year ago a cunt of a tornado hit Greensburg and basically riped her a new one. Since then the towns been reinventing itself with a new and improved eco green vibe and putting it’s progress out on display for all the world to see on television. Ray and I watch the show from time to time and thought it would be fun to check out the town. Well it wasn’t fun at all. It got late, which meant it got dark and what we could make out was not really impressive. Also, people in Kansas stare at me like they never seen a slanty eyed person before. And to make matters worse some crazy Kansan tried to kill himself by walking right in front of my car on the Interstate late at night about 15 minutes after we left Greensburg. Yes, moron was on a suicide mission and was hoping to use my vehicle to take him to see God. He obviously doesn’t know I’m a ninja, with sharp as attack reflexes. I swerved to the left, luckily on coming traffic was still coming otherwise I would of had to make road kill out of him or hit an oncoming diesel, going 65 + mph . I’m not gonna lie, I freaked the fuck out and had Ray take over the wheel. Kansas sucks red donkey balls and I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out.

Ahhh, I hate it when my eyes are closed? That always seems to happen to me. During our trip to California we stayed with my sister Lana and her husband Kevin. Luckily for us they just moved to Walnut Creek about a month ago. Lucky for them we extended our trip so they got to see us a lot longer than expected. I was telling Ray the other day that if his work ever brings us back to the bay area then we would be looking for a place in Walnut Creek. No more renovations in Oakland or freezing my ass off in San Francisco, or long commutes from Vacaville. Nope we would be going straight to the East Bay. Walnut Creek is a great place, only 20 minutes from the city and it’s always clean, not as cold, and the home town where my boobs magically appeared for $6000 . I’m really happy for Lana and Kevin because they seem to love it too.

One good thing that came out of my marrying Brandon was all the wonderful friends that I met because of where we were stationed, being in the military and all. I didn’t actually meet anyone of any importance through him because we’ll he was gone all the time. We lived in Fairfield and I worked in the next town over, Vacaville.  I have made a lot of great great friends there and so many wonderful memories to go along. Since we were so close now, just under an hour drive, I decided to give everyone whose anyone a call to meet up for dinner. At first I was slightly disappointed because it seemed as though everyone was too busy but what could I expect with my late notice and all. However, the night ended up being a huge success and what I thought was going to be a small event ended up growing to be an all night extravaganza.

Monica came late, but the important thing is that she showed up. I don’t even care that she was drunk when she appeared, that actually put a smile on my face.

These are my Burning Man friends, Victor and Luu, and Victor’s new girlfriend, Jennifer, who is a huge upgrade from his last bogus ex-girlfriend may I add. If he doesn’t keep her I might have to take her back to Texas with me and make her my new BFF. “Once a burner always a burner,” this is true. Although I’ve only been there once in my life I was there every year after in spirit. I think Burning Man creates a tight bond between you and those you go with because your out in the desert for a whole week sharing and this amazing experience with them. It was seriously one of the most amazing experiences of my life.

Becks came to see me for a little bit and my night would have pretty much sucked if I didn’t get to see her at all. So that short 20 minutes made all the difference in the world Becks!

Originally Christina, Sammy and Monica were the only ones who could manage to come on such late notice. It’s a funny thing because I haven’t talked to Christina and Sammy in years. We were the closest of friends a few years back but we had a falling out and just basically deceased our friendship. Just recently we started messaging via MySpace and being the new year and all I decided to give them a call and start the year off with a positive attitude and energy by reconnecting with old friends. I was kinda glad it was going to be just them at first because it would give us a chance to make amends in person and catch up but then everyone started calling back, one thing led to another and the next thing I know I’m popular again.

This is Cammie’s husband Eric and his friend Josh. Cammie couldn’t make it because she was in busy in Texas doing time in the Reserves. I’m so glad that Eric and Josh decided to come though because they came early and put our name on the long ass waiting list. It was really nice to see Eric, even without Cammie.

This is me and my husband, Ray Hernandez. I love him very much.

After dinner we all headed to Star’s. Star’s is a large bar/pool hall/bowling alley/wild milf dance floor.

This is Justin and his girl Tiffany. I went to Burning Man with Justin and we’ve been the best of buds since. He met Tiffany the following year at Burning Man, about the same time I met Ray.

I think me and Tiff would be the best of buds if we lived a lot closer.

But it seems as though me and Christina are again. Yay!

Sammy heard that I was in town so he drove all the way from San Francisco to see me.

This is my friend Amy, cutie in the hat, who was also a really good friend of mine back in the days.

Another funny thing is that Lou called me up very recently the other day. I hadn’t talked to him in years and most of my memories of him are from Burning Man and a few random crazy events after. He’s an awesome guy, definitely a character and now he’s my friend on FaceBook.

Star’s was awesome. I felt bad because I left Ray alone to fend for himself several times throughout the night. I just kept running into people I knew that I haven’t seen in a while. After Star’s Monica took us to a random house party, you know the kind where there’s at least two beer pong tournament going on in the garage. It was cool because I saw more old friends there too, most of them I couldn’t remember their names though. I hate it when that happens.

So the real reason why Ray and I rushed out to California is because we are property managers of a building owned by a nice old man by the name of Mel Cavalerro. It was a deal that seemed pretty sweet in the beginning but in the end it started to go sour. We basically drove out here to honor and uphold our contract and to bid farewell to Mr. Cavalerro. I don’t think I will ever forget such a sweet man and I wish there was some way to let him know that I appreciate everything he’s done for me and I hope I didn’t disappoint him too much.

So remember the trip we took to California earlier this year. It was such a great trip but I left out one event, dinner at Christina and Sammy’s.   It’s been years since I’ve seen these two and to see them twice in one trip was a nice treat. And they surprised me with Jen which was like a bonus on top of a bonus. And she brought her camera, bonus, since it was the one time that I happen to forget mine. I just had to wait for her photos to make to it to Facebook so I can steal them off her.

Wine and dessert just completes a meal.

Group photo, minus Moe.

Sammy and I.

Seeing these photos made me sad to think that we ever fought. We went from seeing each other all the time to not talking for like three years. I guess that’s another life lesson. Grudges are stupid and only hold you back. I’m not gonna lie, I still hold grudges, but not as bad or long.

Um, that’s chocolate cake on my teeth by the way.

It was almost a year ago that I started my first post on this blog, January 9th 2008. Since then I’ve written 121 post. I don’t really know who’s all reading it, but it sure has made my hand written journaling take back seat.

I cut my hair super short for the first time ever. It was kinda cute wasn’t it?

Ray got a new iPhone.

Ray and I ran in The Annual Great Aloha Run, just a little over 8 miles, and we all know eight is a good number to start with.

We voted for our first time for the Democratic Party. But just for the record, once Hillary was out of the election Ray and I voted again for our first time for President for Obama of course.

Ray bought me my first brand new computer. Mac 4 life baby!

MyBabyOurBaby Launched.

We finally found the dock where Lost, our favorite television series, was filmed at. We searched the island for it forever.

We went camping at Melekahana, our first time camping in Hawaii and Ray’s first time ever. He’s not a fan.

Rocked out at the Kokua Festival, a festival Jack Johnson puts on every year in Hawaii.

CheapPlacesToEatInOahuHawaii.com, my blog had become a major hit and one of Hawaii’s most popular food blog websites.

I called some lady a cunt on my last day of work, because she was.

We got to swim with dolphins.

We moved back to the main land, California first.

Ray got to meet some of my extended family.

Tried wake boarding for the first time.

Got to ride dirk bikes again.

Moved to Austin

Where we met the Semmlers, Shane’s older brother and his family and now mine.

Kidnapped Kuya Ben’s dogs.

Found the Agave Homes and fell in love.

Ray introduced me to Marcos. He works for NASA.

Went to our first roller derby.

Spent Bachelorette week in Florida with my best bud Jack Mother Fucking Dogg with a double G.

Got married, 080808.

Got my first tattoo with my old crew from V-Town.

Traveled to New York, but just for a couple of months.

I stopped eating meat.

Met Guav Mom and the Roses and I have to tell you I’m a fan. Hope we get to see them again soon.

I got to freelanced at Jimmy Z’s, thanks to Bea.

We got to be extras in Friday Night Lights.

I almost died from pneumonia.

I met the Semmler’s, the rest of Shane’s family, and now mine as well and went to my first professional basketball game. Go Mavericks!

As you can see I love recording my life and 2008 was a year worth recording. There was a lot of cherry popping going on and I got to meet a lot of people that will be in my life for the long haul. We also moved around a lot, Hawaii, California, Austin, New York, Dallas. Things are just never boring with us. I’m looking forward to a healthy, happy and prosperous year for 2009. I know great things are to come.

While some people make new year resolutions, my baby just likes to start the year off with a clean slate, a clean, soft, and smooth as a babies ass slate.

I think it’s his way of cleansing. You know how some people have garage sales, donate their clothes to charity, or just throw out any unnecessary items. Ray cleanses himself of his filthy sins by shaving his beard and mustache.

Hey don’t judge him. While you may not think this to be so courageous, it most certainly is. It has been over 10 years since my honey has had a smooth ass face, literally, depending on whose ass.

And he really took off his stache . . . seriously? You know what that means, no more mustache rides for me. Ah, well, I’ve used up all my quarters on laundry anyhow.

Tell me Sancho, how do you feel? Do you feel liberated? Free? Like you’ve been given another chance at life? A new person starting off with a clean slate? I tell you what, when I kiss you it feels like I’m kissing a new person if that makes you feel any better. Maybe we can trade in those mustache rides for some role play action. Come here and kiss me you fool you.

For New Years this year Ray and I were crazy rebels without a cause living the crazy life at 300 Bowl, a bowling alley located in Dallas Texas. I’ve also seen one in Austin.

Lucky for us Bea and Guav had planned on staying till the New Year.

We put our names on the waiting list at the bowling alley then we met up with Vince, Bea’s big brother and his girlfriend, Renee at BJ’s Restaurant.

We didn’t expect the bowling alley to call us back, being New Year’s and all, but they did, while Guav was in the mist of his meal. He scarfed down his meal as fast as his vegan mouth would allow him and we scurried off to Dallas 300 Bowl.

I know it’s not the craziest New Year but my friends are crazy enough for me. Besides, we were all on a budget, Bea wasn’t drinking, I wasn’t drinking, and Guav never drinks. So basically Ray would look like a sad alcoholic if we went anywhere else.

Watch Ray and I do the count down and then we kiss for a prosperous, healthy and happy 2009.

2009 New Years Count Down from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

So the crazy and bizarre thing is that none of us are really that good at bowling, especially me of all people. We randomly filmed the four of us, me, Ray, Bea and Guav bowl once and each person bowled a strike. How crazy is that? It’s a sign, 2009 is going to be a great year!

Bea Strikes Into the New Year!

Bea Strikes Into the New Year from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Ray Strikes Into The New Year!

Ray Strikes Into the New Year from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Guav Strikes Into the New Year!

Guav Stikes Into the New Year from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

I Strike Into The New Year!

Doan Strikes Into The New Year 2008-09 from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

We said our sad good-byes at the end of the night because Bea and Guav were planning on leaving the next day as were we. The drive back home wasn’t so bad, at least Kola didn’t think so.