Doan Chung-Hernandez

The blog about the life of Doan

Archive for the ‘ I Heart My BFF’s ’ Category

Doe Bot

The first thing I thought when I saw this box of cereal was me, then immediately I thought of my friend Bea. Unfortunately the cereal sucks compared to the original fruity pebble cereal but it did make me think of my friend. Love you Be Bot.

Every once in a while you come across someone whose energy just lights you up. Lately that person for me is Rex. For me he’s just a refreshing breath of fresh air as loony and crazy as he is. I love him.

Tonight Rex and I hung out. He made me dinner. I got to meet his mom after I scared the shit out of her. It was a good night and dinner was great, even if he overcooked the pasta.

Boy do we have our hands full this week in Dallas. Infocus Dentistry booked us for the Uptown Dallas Festival, the Dallas Fair is in full effect, Ben’s kids are having their birthday party and he wants me to be in charge of the games, and as an added bonus Bea and even Mable are in town. Wow! First we celebrate the twin’s birthday by going out to eat with the family.

The next day we hit the Texas fair. Now I’ve never been to the Dallas fair before but I’ve been under the impression that it could well possibly be the grandest fair of them all. I mean, have you heard of all the fried crap they come up with. Now I’m not the biggest fan of fried shit, but when you have things like fried snickers, twinkies, and even fried coke, you definitely have my attention.

Gotta take a photo with the iconic Big Tex. Now is it me or does he look like he’d just had a breast enhancement procedure? He’s all square and boxy up there like they were freshly done yesterday. Hey, to each his own Big Tex, to each his own.

Me and my fried snickers.

This year the big hype was fried peaches and cream. That sounds pretty safe and boring compared to some of their past concoctions.  And the verdict . . . well fried, nice crispness yet a bit greasy, cream was too runny and bland, serving size was too small and like everything else, way overpriced. Hello people, we’re in a recession here!

Unfortunately we didn’t ride any rides this year. I’ve never been a huge fan of fair rides, just not my thing ya know.

And we ended it with a BMX show.

I don’t want to say I was disappointed but I’m not gonna be rushing to next years fair.

Oh yeah, and everyone had a photobooth this year, but they were all ghetto rigged.

Oh and I also forgot to mention, Bea brought Brixton. He’s so effing cute and I can’t stop plotting new ways to kidnap him.

The next day was the Dallas Uptown festival. Infocus Dentistry had hired us to lure innocent pedestrians to their booth and you know what, it worked like a charm. Seriously, who comes to a festival to see a dentist? But you throw in a photobooth and everyone is instantly interested. Ingenious!

Now while that was going on I headed off to Cloe and Lyric’s birthday party because I was told last minute that I was to be in charge of the games. Alright Ben next time some notice would be nice, you know so I could do some planning, get some props, but hey I’m amazing and I’ll make due and make it happen because I love you brother.

We had a sack race where the girls totally opened a can of whoop ass on the boys.

We also did a few games of tug-a-war.

Where the girls reign total domination.

Oh and then Cloe decided to rub some salt on Lyrics wound by kicking his ass in front of his friends. Bad Cloe!

There wasn’t enough props to play all the games I had in mind but it was quite all right because all the adults had had enough. We handed out prizes, kids got their face painted and now it’s time for cake.

Cake, sometimes it’s better than love.

And of course I got my face painted too, old school like Jem and the Holograms.

After the birthday I headed back to the festival and guess what, Dallas Morning News came by and took a photo of me which later that week ended up online.

Awesome! Here’s a link if you want to check it out. It’s on page 10.

The dreaded last day of Virgo Bash has fallen upon us and now it’s time to go out and get people back home some lame O souvenirs so they feel as though we were actually thinking about them this week. I really wanted to bring Ray back something totally awesome but lets face it, we’re in Mexico, infamous for  useless chotskies made especially for wandering tourists. I know Ray likes T-shirts so I played it safe and got him a couple of funny T-shirts but in the back of my mind I knew they would wind up in the back of his closet never to be used but I really didn’t want to come home empty handed. “Hey babe, I had a blast drinking and partying it up with the girls on vacation while you stayed home and worked your ass off, sorry I didn’t bring you back anything,” Seems so douchie, right? And I don’t want to be a douche so I got him the stupid T-shirts along with a few other random useless things. Sheesh, I hate wasting money. On the way back we once again walked along the beach, for old times sake and saw this dude just loving life. I want his life. As soon as we arrived to the resort a volleyball game was taking place and it just so happens that they needed more players, or at least sexy female players with big bouncy titties. I probably would have joined the rest of the girls if I had not played the day before. Oh, I forgot to mention that Michelle and I  played volleyball the day before and I was basically sexy dead weight. Maybe next time I’ll play sober and see how it works out for me but today I didn’t want to chance it. It was our last day and who wants to leave Mexico a loser, not this gal. I’ll be the amazing photographer instead.

These guys were on a bachelor party and I’m sure they secretly wanted to do us. Don’t ask me why everyone looks so happy to take a damn photo, I guess I’m just an amazing photographer, going above and beyond to get the shot. By the way, Fuck you Jack, and you too Elicia.

You want to know why Jack loves it here so much, because they let you drink and smoke to your hearts desire in the pool. Hell I bet they wouldn’t stop you if you were fucking in the pool.

Hey Jackie met some new friends and she’s determined to bring back the high five. Just for the record, it was my idea to bring back the high five.

Michelle and I were bored with these guys and their lame ass bacherlor party. We weren’t drunk enough to not notice their douchiness which only made us miss our amazing husbands that were awaiting us back home. So we wandered off to a restaurant and enjoyed each other’s company for a while. I gotta say I’m really a fan of Michelle. I wish we lived closer so we could be BFF’s all the time.

When we got back Jack and Elicia had done some major damage. Michelle I knew we should of never left these girls alone.

Just check out this video of Jack swimming up to the bar for more drinks and randomly high-fiving a bunch of strangers. Priceless.

Alright, enough is enough. We’re going back to the room and we’re not leaving anyone of us behind. We’ll carry you if we have to and we basically had to.

Jackie passes out on the bed and while the rest of us got ready to go out to dinner without her. Serves her right. Next time pace yourself Jack. We had dinner with one of the non-douchy guys on the bachelor party who also happens to be a doctor. Perfect, here’s my chance to ask for a prescription for Restasis without having to pay for the doctors fee, which I did and he swore he’d give me one but I never got it. Lame. After dinner we came back for Jack. What kind of friends would we be if we let our best bud spend her last night in Playa Del Carmen comatose in bed. We slap some sense into her and just like that she snapped back into it. Oh Jack, you never cease to amaze me.

Our doctor friend joined us and together we all gallivanted back into town for one more wreck-less night and what better place to start than the first club we started out at on our first night here. How fitting!

I’m pretty sure we got overcharged for our drinks but who cares when your having fun. We left this club and after gallivanting around town a bit we soon enough wandered into this awesome night club. Oh my god, the inside was popping, loud and packed.

They even had arcrobats flipping around on stage

And confetti going off everywhere.

Elicia and I danced our hearts out and then we climbed onto the stage and danced some more. And that was enough to seal the deal on an unbelievable vacation. We walked out of the club like a bunch of 21 year old girls that just finished their first night in Vegas. Awesome! The next day we all went out to breakfast for the last time together in Playa Del Carmen. It was the perfect time to surprise everyone with the rings I purchased while we went shopping. Jackie got everyone golden rings, Michelle brought back rings for everyone while she was in Europe so I’d figure I’d end the trip and get everyone rings too.

Good-bye Playa Del Carmen and thank-you for hosting the best Virgo Bash ever! After breakfast we headed back to our rooms and finish packing our bags, headed back into town, took the bus to Cancun where we boarded planes back home. I went back to my husband in Texas, Jackie flew home to a very jealous Dirk in Florida, Michelle went home to Claudio in Indiana and Elicia went home to her fiance in California. Love you girls. See you next year for Virgo Bash 2010. It’s gonna be hard to top this one.

Good morning day 6 of Virgo Bash. Michelle and I woke up early today and scored 4 sweet spots right above the swim bar. How perfect. We throw some random items on the other two chairs in an effort to save them for Jack and Elicia. Michelle and I are the only two that brought books along with us and what splendid time to get to reading especially while being nestled in this view.

And I can’t help to keep turning back at this view.

When Jack and Elicia wake up we throw more random shit on our lounge chairs and head out for some morning time breakfast.

And then we go back to claim our VIP spots and stay awhile.

This dude here, along with a few other dudes are in charge of making sure everyone at the resort is having a great time. Pretty cool job if you ask me. Not only did he come by trying to get us to play volley ball with him but he also wanted us to assist him in gathering more people to play. Sorry dude, I’m on vacation. I take a quick photo shoot with him before I shoo him off so he doesn’t feel like such a loser. I’m pretty sure I’m buffer than he is though.

My friends and their pasty asses can’t handle the suns beat down so they leave me to cool off  in the pool.

But they come back, they always do.

The girls start to get antsy so once again we desert our things on the lounge chairs and trust that it will be enough to save our spots.

It’s not hard for Michelle and I to make friends here.

We decide to give the beach yet another try and what great timing because I spot a another pair of titties. Score! My Asian instincts kick in and I reach for my camera but a little too late because all I got was a bony ass. Oh well.

Awe, look it’s our old resort.

It seems as though every time we walk this beach someone is coming out of the ocean with some fresh fish. I bet the sushi here is awesome.

After our stroll we head back to claim our reserved spots but this time we move to the covered beds behind us.

It seems as though the sun has opened a can of whoop ass on some of us.

Which means it’s time to head back to the room and freshen up. While hanging out back in the lanai we meet this random chick who happens to be on a different Virgo Bash a few doors down from us, how crazy is that! Normally I would be the first to be all over her, thinking we we’re all meant to be BFF’s or something since I don’t believe in coincidences, but my instincts tell me this chick’s a phony and I’m totally not feeling her.  She’s trying to bum a cigarette and Jackie is a little buzzed so she’s feeling all lovey dovey and gives her a whole packet of smokes, invites her over and even gives her one of our Virgo Bash tank tops. Seriously Jack I think you got some of that chicks corn Julio stuck in your teeth. Whatever, Jack is drunk and she’s just extra friendly when she’s drunk. I on the other hand am not. She wants us to all get together for some drinks and hang out later tonight. Whatever broad, get the fuck out of here. After she leaves, I voice my opinion about her and the girls agree this chick is wackadoo.

Here’s a video of me yelling at Jack because she’s using up all the battery in the camera, the girls talking shit about how weird this broad is, and bringing back the high five.

Michelle threw in the towel early tonight but that’s okay because there’s still fight left in the three of us.

All I can say is that it was a good night.

So good I once again don’t remember a thing and luckily I have no photos to remind me.

One of the first things I did today was throw my shell I got while snorkeling back into the ocean, but before I did I wrote Virgo Bash 09 on it. I had intended on bringing it back as a souvenir but little did I know when I captured it I also captured a little hermit crab that took up residence in it. I was hoping by day five the little guy would of detached itself and wondered off but it hadn’t and now I’m actually starting to feel bad. This little dude was a fighter and I’m feeling like a douche for taking him out of his habitat so I threw him back in the ocean where he belongs. It’s not near his home but it’s close enough. Be free little man, be free.

Bad news, Kimmy is leaving us today. After a lite breakfast we head into town so she can catch the bus to the airport. It’s starting to hit all of us, our vacation has past its half way mark. There’s still so much we want to do and definitely not enough time to do it. We make a stop at the local travel agent and for some reason none of us can make a decision.

Do we do another excursion or just spend the next couple of days enjoying margaritas by the pool side? No one cares, we just need someone to decide and no one wants to step up and make that decision for fear being the one who makes the wrong choice and blows the rest of our time here. Instead of making a hasty decision we decide to ponder on it over a couple of beers on the beach but before that we must bid Kimmy fair well. Oh Kimmy your family will always be there, vacations like this don’t come around too often, next time I want to see you stay till the end. Got me. See you back in Texas and congrats on that new pea in the pod.

Alright it’s time to do some pondering over Coronas.

After a bucket of Coronas we decided that since we can’t decide we shouldn’t go because it obviously doesn’t feel right so instead we follow our gut and go back to the resort to upgrade our room.

The lady wearing the white shirt in the photo above was a massage pimp. No seriously, she was out trying to pimp out massages for certain massage therapists. I’m not kidding. Home girl would not leave us alone until we got a massage so to sweeten her deal she offered us five minutes for free, you know like a test drive.

So we took her up on her offer and got five minutes of bliss for free. While heading back to the resort I spotted a pair of titties out in the open for all to see.  So I did what any respectable tourist in Mexico would do, I took a picture.

And then when I got closer I took another photo because photos last longer than memory.

We’re tired of walking on this damn beach. It’s not the beach that’s getting to us it’s all the Mexicans that keep hounding us for drinks, massages, food, excursions and whatever else they can sell to make a buck. I’m so over it. Get me back to the resort, I need a drink, a free all inclusive drink.

That’s our resort right there in front of us and you know what, we’re tired of it. We want something bigger, better and more glamorous so we decided that when we get back we’re packing our bags and finding just that. The first person we saw when we arrived back was this douche bag a few of the girls saw the night before while out. He’s the guy in the speedo rubbing oil on his wife or some hussy he just met, who knows. Thing is he offered to, “make sex on the beach” with Michelle and Elicia. Wonder if his wife knows he’s a dirty dog. I bet you she does because she’s probably a dirty whore herself.

It definitely sucks that Kimmy’s gone but that doesn’t mean we’re not going to take full advantage of the situation. Now that she’s gone we can get a much better deal on a room because we could all stay together in one room instead of being forced to book out two since the limit is 4 persons per room. It’s not so much of having to book 2 rooms it’s more that we all really just wanted to stay together and have lots of girl time. We hiked across the street where the sister hotel was everything we had hoped for and more.

We did what we set out to do, upgrade our resort and with that our rooms. There was even a spa in our resort and a comfy hammock in the back.

But the best part was the resort itself. We all just fell in love with the place. It was like we we’re on vacation all over again, oh but wait, we are. Happy happy joy joy!

Time to hit the bar for some cocktails. Being at this pretty resort brought out the photo-whore in all of us all over again.

Time to check out the beach.

I don’t know what had gotten into all of us but we we’re so giddy over this place. I can’t believe how happy we were.

Alright time to get back to the resort and hop in the pool. I want to chicken fight with the girls but no one wants to take me on. Smart girls.

Throughout this vacation we’ve been bringing back the high five, especially Jack. We’ve been high-fiving each other, the help and everyone else that wants to connect their hand with ours. Smashing!  So it only seemed fitting that we video ourselves reenacting how we would go about high-fiving each other if we had ran into each other in the pool, but for some reason we decide to do this slow motion.

First take didn’t work out so well so we tried again.

And again.

Oh Jack.

We love this place.

Jack and I take a moment to thank the Gods above.

After we’re done goofing off we head back to our room, get ready, for what we don’t know but we want to be out and we’re ready to have some serious fun.

Seriously, the only good that came out of Kimmy leaving us was this place.

We make our way to a cute little restaurant and take up shop there.

After food we make like a baby and head out. It’s so time for some drinks.

We call our men first before we’re totally obliterated. Brownie points for us.

I’m so happy and taking a moment to take it all in.

Yes this place is breathtaking . . .

But what I love even more is being here with my girlfriends, especially Jack, she’s a real character that Yackie.

Well I don’t remember much after this place. I know we drank, had Chinese for dinner and I past out on the dinner table and somehow I woke up safe in bed next to Michelle the next morning with no hangover. Oh no, it’s not time to throw in the hat, not just yet. We still have another day..

It’s half time peoples. We gotta get into serious vacation mode. Last night we booked 4 action packed adventures at one awesome place called XPLOR. This place is no joke, as soon as we get here we’re given hard hats. It’s time to get our game face on girls!

This place is Awesome! Everywhere we went we had to stop to snap a photo. I’ve never been to any place like this before. We’re in this amazing cave with millions of staglikes hanging over us. Michelle knew everything about this place because she’s a freaking scientist. Everywhere we went she was just filling us with her knowledge like she was reciting the encyclopedia.

We had to drop off all of our personal items at the lockers provided because our excursions were so action packed that there was no way we could bring all of our girly things with us. I even had to leave my camera behind. It’s not natural for an Asian to be without her camera.

We decided to do the easiest excursion first which was floating through a fresh water underground cave.

One word, breathtaking. Since I had no camera I couldn’t take any photos. This broke my heart. However at the end I did manage to take photos of the photos they had on display. This is basically what we saw during our floating trip.

These pointy things are the staglikes I was talking about.

We did buy one of those waterproof disposable cameras. It didn’t take very good photos but I guess it’s better than nothing.

These pictures don’t do this place any justice.

After floating the underworld we decided the next plan of action would be to go four wheeling. I totally could of brought my camera on this adventure but I didn’t because I was told not to. I guess that’s what I get for following the rules. This was Jacks favorite but we all loved it. Jack and I rode together and you know she wanted to drive. I’m not gonna argue with that, like I always say, “I’m just here for the ride.” It’s no surprise that we got in trouble several times.

We had a blast going through caves, water falls and narrow bridges and the best part was that we didn’t have to follow a tour guide or be in a group. They just trust that you will adhere to the rules. Big mistake.When they saw how fast Jack and I were going they had to chase us down to tell us to slow the fuck down.

After 4-wheeling we were now ready to tackle the zip line, which was what enticed us to book this excursion package in the first place. This is like no zip line I’ve ever seen. There were 8 different towers that we had to zip to. As soon as we zipped line to one we had to hike up the tower and zip line to another. No doubt they were all high, but some were ridiculously high.

I’m afraid of heights and I knew if I waited to go last I would of turned around and gone back down to the underworld to hide my head in shame because no one would be there to stop me and that is why I volunteered to be one of the first to go.

Again, these photos were taken with the disposable camera. Two shockers on this trip, 1,  Michelle is a dare devil, surprise, surprise. This scientist gots balls, big ones at that. And shocker number 2, Jack knows fear. It’s true. By the time we got to our 3rd tower woman was ready to bail out. Of course we forced her to go through with it. On the 2nd to last tower Kimmy got stuck and Jackie almost rammed right into her. Scary.

How cute are we?

The last tower was the best though. They have you zip line right into a pool of water. You can see some guy zipping in behind us.

This place is so big that they suggest if you get lost you plan to meet back up at the heart. The coolest thing about this heart is that it really had a heart beat. You could heart it beating louder and louder the closer you got.

After zip lining we did the last excursion, log rafting. Although it was still fun this was my least favorite of them all. We had to sit on individual plastic logs and strap a paddle on to our hands and paddle through the underground fresh water caves. I had no coordination so I ended up holding everyone up. You could hear me from beginning to end because I was bumping and thumping all the way through. After logging it was time to get back to the resort. In our minds we were champions. Holy shit we still can’t believe we zipped line today. High fives all around. We deserve a nice dinner and lots of drinks.

Back at the resort I spotted this pretty little kitty pussy cat just lounging around. I’m pretty sure this was his home.



Oh I forgot, it’s Kimmy’s last night. She’s leaving us early to so she can tend to her family. Tonight we’re going to dine at our favorite trattoria. I’m determined to send this girl home with a hangover. I could see the fear in her eyes already. Be scared, be very very scared.

We we’re definitely popular here.

So Kimmy has a little something to tell us and this is how she breaks the news. She has the waiter be her little messenger boy and deliver her message to Jackie on a cake. Wait. What? I don’t get it. That stupid waiter fucked up and wrote, “Congrats” instead of “Happy Birthday” and called Jackie an Aunt. I guess in Mexico they really do treat you like family. I’m totally clueless and remain that way until someone breaks the news to me 30 minutes later . . . Kimmy is freaking preggo. What the fuck!

Okay, I don’t know how the hell she was able to totally hide that info from us throughout the whole trip. There were several times where we all took shots at the table. She did have help, her partner in crime, none other than the evil scientist, Michelle. How did we not notice her NOT drinking? Could it be that we were too involved in our drinking to notice.  But now I feel like a total ass because I had made a comment, specifically to her, about being pregnant on vacation and it wasn’t a totally nice comment at that. How do I always manage to put my boot in my mouth? Well, I applaud you with a standing ovation and seriously we’re all totally happy for you. I’m totally jealous.

Sneaky sneaky.

This drunk is getting us dude.

That’s it, he’s totally doing the Charlies Angels pose.

It’s been a long day and what was suppose to be a wild and wreakless night turned out to be a quiet and chill evening after all and we are all totally okay with it. It’s been one long successful day.

It’s day 3 of Virgo Bash and boy did we take a shit ton of photos today. Seriously we are a bunch of photo taking whores. Everywhere we go we’re snap, snap, snapping away.

Today I woke up and I actually utilized the gym they had downstairs. Yes, even on vacation I work out, extra brownie points for me. For breakfast we stayed in and ordered room service. I can’t think of anything better than room service when your on vacation. It’s a day of relaxation, no plans, just a lot of beach time with a little bit of attitude.

We had to stop on the way for a quick photo shoot.

Doesn’t Jack look pretty?

Alright my turn, give that me that damn flower.

As soon as we make it to the beach we head straight to the bar . . . only to take more photos.

Uh, a little more attitude please.

Photo-whores I tell ya. We’re all just  a bunch of photo-whores.

And then I had to stop to take a photo of these guys. This lady is wearing her freaking bra and panties on the beach. Damn Europeans wear the craziest shit on the beach. Makes me wonder if I’m part European.

Michelle thinks she just came up with the best idea. “Lets all learn Spanish,” she says as she busts out her Spanish/English dictionary. Jackie learned how to say a few choice words like “Toca ella aqui,” which means, “touch her here.” She would say it to anyone who looked local and point to my boobies and every time they would laugh, which only encouraged her to say it throughout our vacation.

Michelle’s game got boring fast so we resorted to taking more photos. Charlies Angels style.

Jackie and Michelle partook in a volley ball game when we got back.

Kick ass!

If you haven’t noticed by now, I took on the roll of the photographer, as I always do, which explains why I’m not in a lot of the group photos.

Sexy legs.

Jackie wants in on the action.

This is our friend that we met at the resort. I forgot his name but he was a Virgo too and he absolutely loved us.

I got him to get a little dirty on camera and just like the girls on Girls Gone Wild, he kindly obliged.

Jackie got this crazy idea where we had to find a worker and have them pose with us. I found this lady named Margarita and had her do the Charlies Angels pose with me. She didn’t get the whole gun thing and ended up praying instead.

Michelle found this little dude.

It’s getting late and we’re all getting hungry. Jackie had bought everyone Virgo Bash tanks and what better night to wear them than tonight.

We’re so damn cute.

So before dinner we stopped at the travel center in the lobby to book another excursion for tomorrow. It took awhile for all five of our cards to process so Jack and Elicia made use of their time by having caractures of themselves drawn up. What a waste of money. No one could tell who was who.

Tonight we’re having Mexican.

We took a break to strike a pose with one of our waiters.

Went back to eating and then during half time took more photos.

Had dessert and then took more photos.

Oh gosh, Jack is drunk already.

Then this dude came by. He was on vacation with his family and tonight he wished he was on vacation with us. He obviously wanted to hang out. We bought him a free shot and sent him on his way.

Sorry dude, but tonight is girls night out and we’re loving every minute of it.