SXSW Interactive is near it’s end which means Beau is going back to San Francisco. Just like last year we made a stop by Woodland before heading out to the airport.

This pie was actually alright, but talk about sloppy presentation on with the whipped cream.

I asked for more whipped cream and the waiter said I would be charged because they had to make it. Uh, don’t you have to make it anyways? So 20 minutes later I get my whipped cream.

Ray got fish and chips and it was piece of crap. Just a fried blob. He hated it.

Don’t think we’ll be coming back. We’re just gonna have to find a new place to take Beau before the airport next year.

As sad as it is, what you see is the extent of my SXSW Interactive experience. A lot different from last year, not that I did much last year, but whatever I did it was definitely more than this. What, sorry I’m not a geek. If I would have known being a geek would have been this cool when I was in high school I would have focused more on school shit and less on whatever the hell it was that I was focusing on at the time, boys, fucking, drugs, who knows.

Well, our good buddy Steve is staying with us and he and Ray were planning to go to the after parties together instead of purchasing a $400 ticket but Steve broke down and bought a ticket when he heard Anthony and Natalie from New York were flying in.

So Ray was left alone to fend for himself, at least for the first night because Steve got bad news the next day and had to head back to Dallas which meant that Ray landed himself Steven’s pass. That’s two years in a row that Ray’s landed a free pass.

This here is our good buddy Beau. He lives in San Francisco. And below is my dinner, grilled cheese sandwich with a shot of tomato soup. Yes, a shot of tomato soup, that’s a first for me. It was good and I would have rather had a cup or perhaps a bowl of it. Maybe they ran out of tomatoes? But who cares because the grilled cheese sandwich was money. The bread was toasted to perfection and had a slight sweetness to it that left your taste buds begging for more. Money I tell ya, money.

Ray got chicken sliders. He enjoyed his meal as well. I guess that means we have to come back to Max’s.

That’s Anthony down there in the hat. Last time I saw him we randomly ran into him while we were in New York. It was nice to finally meet his wife Natalie.

Well after Max’s we went to the Iron Cactus and I’m sure a few other bars. All I know is that it was a wild and crowded night in downtown Austin.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

Yeah, so I’m a little late on current news, what can I say, I’ve been busy making shit happen but a lot has happen since and I finally got some time to tell you all about it.

First Chris flew in but he flew in for a different conference, it just so happens that his ran into the week SXSW began. One of the first things we did was go to Buffalo Billiards for a few games of pool,

Buffalo Billiards

where Ray opened a can of whoop ass on us, as usual and Chris and I played the longest game of pool in history. To make Chris feel better about loosing so bad Ray let him teach him how to play foosball and pretend to really care.

Buffaalo Billiards

What a boring game.

Foosball

Chris knew more about the bar scene downtown than we did, which really doesn’t surprise me. He took us to one of his favorite bars called Legends Sports Bar to end the night.

Legends Sports Bar and Grill

The next day Beau flew in and that’s when South By South West really started for us.

Beau, the Victim

Beau is a super nerd and definitely one of the smartest friends we have. He was way more involved in SXSW and was even there to represent Word Press.

Beau, the Super Nerd

We bar hopped to a bunch of random bars that I don’t really remember, but what I do remember is that is was cold as fuck.

Beau, the Alcoholic

So the best thing about the picture right above is the man standing behind Beau. I was actually trying to slyly take a photo of him by pretending to take a photo of Beau. I obviously wasn’t that sly because the dude knew and looked right at me and smiled for the photo. Unfortunately he’s not in focus but if he were you’d see that he had a tiny telescope attached on the right part of his glasses. He just walked around the bar like that the whole time. It was weird, creepy and hilarious.

Maria Maria

Later on Ray, Chris and I had dinner at Maria Maria. It was a cute place but the service was shitty. There was a long piece of hair in my appetizer and  on top of having meat in my entree it was super salty. I sent my meal back and got dessert instead. After dinner we went around to a few more bars that I don’t remember. I took a cab home shortly after though because too much drinking fuels my fire. I’m not much of a drinker and sometimes being around certain people I can’t help but to get rubbed the wrong way where all I want to do is connect faces to my dark, brown, sexy boots. Going home was definitely the right choice because the Universe saw my nasty mood and delivered the perfect cab driver right to me. By the time I arrived at my destination I was in a completely different state of mind. It’s funny how different people can manage to bring out the best and worst in some. Ray stumbled home with Beau, Chris and our good friend Steven Ray some time later that night.

Ray Hernandez, photo by Beau Lebens

The next day I was on my own because the boys went off to do what they do best, be super nerds. They created a “Photo with Beau Scavenger Hunt Contest” that night that I followed on FaceBook every time they tweet about it. At around 3 in the morning the boys stumbled in and Ray got scalded for not calling me all day and night. Bad husband.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon, photo by Beau Lebens

I did tag along the next day though. I was actually signed up for one event, the Word Press BBQ Luncheon. They had me at free food and organic vegan cupcakes.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

I took the last of the cupcakes.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

Sorry Chris.

WordPress BBQ Luncheon

We hit the bars after the barbecue.

Moonshine Patio Bar & Grill

Later on that night we ended up at the Tumblr party.

SXSW Tumblr Party

They had me at open bar.

SXSW Tumblr Party

Ray was a fan of the open bar too.

SXSW Tumblr Party

Steven was planning on leaving that night back to Dallas so we didn’t want to stay out too late. We sobered up at the coffee shop next door and bid one another farewell. I was ready to be home, but poor Ray, he had to head back out in a few hours to pick up drunken Beau.

The next day we grabbed lunch at Woodland Restaurant on South Congress and drove the last of our guests to the airport.

Woodland Restaurant

Creamy Tomato Soup @ Woodland Restaurant

Woodland Restaurant

In March of 2006 Ray and I moved to Oakland California from Vacaville. We had only lived in Vacaville for 3 months before we realized the commute was killing us. I would drop him off at work, drive back home and then drive back to the bay area and pick him up, a total of a 4 hour commute, without traffic each day. Anyhow, while looking for a place to live in the bay area we stumbled upon this building. It was an old warehouse that use to be a French Fry Factory. I would of never, ever, ever, even considered living in here, but Ray, well, lets just say he has more vision than I most do. At first I thought it was asinine, I mean have you guys seen the photo above? But I have always been one to just go with the flow, and Ray is what I like to call a hopeless visionary.

But you got to admit, it totally has potential. Even I could admit that. But again, did you see the photo above? It was taken through a hole in the front door. The building was 8000 sq ft. Uh, no that’s not a misprint, there was not an extra 0 put in by accident. Yes, we lived, worked, renovated, bled, sweat, cried and even threw a few parties in an 8000 sq ft building for an entire year. Crazy kids, I’m sure that’s what everyone was thinking.

The pile of trash we had hauled away almost reached the second floor.

It even had two walk in refrigerators, one of which I was planning on turning into my walk in closet.

We flew dad down because there was no way we could of done all this work without him.

We put a lot of work into this building. In the beginning it was scary, but I got over it and soon it was as though the Universe had answered our dreams, but with a little sacrifice and hard work on our part. Ray had always dreamed of renting out a huge warehouse that had a urinal from a rich old man that gave him a super cheap deal and turning it into his modern urban living dream. Yes, our warehouse even had a urinal. And I had always wanted to have my own massage business, with 4 rooms, one for myself and the other 3 I would hire or rent out to other massage therapist. The front of the building on the second floor had 4 rooms. The more we thought about it the more uncanny and perfect it seemed.

But soon, life just took a toll. Ray detested work and the more he saw his boss the more he loathed him. I was getting burnt out on massage. What once was filled with passion and energy fizzled and soon I felt like a well paid slave. Ray and I decided to call it quits and tackle yet another dream of mine, to live in Hawaii. Somehow, this dream seemed so much less painful and stressful. We had a 3 year lease so we took on the role as property managers and sublet the building for the remainder 2 years of our lease and for over twice what we paid, split the rent with Mel, the nice old man Ray dreamt to life, every month and started a new chapter of our lives in Oahu Hawaii.

Hawaii was a totally awesome experience. Every month we used the money we made from the building to pay off the debt we put into it. I’d like to say it was easy but it wasn’t. I can say it was a huge learning experience. This last trip to California was to find a way to come to an agreement with Kevin, the man we rented the building out to. He ended up subletting the building to Raphael, a total pathetic douche bag that couldn’t pay rent on time to save his life and couldn’t move out when asked to leave. But our main concern for coming out to Cali was to make sure we uphold our contract with Mel and leave on good terms with him. When we got to the building it was in shambles. All the hard work, blood, sweat, tears, and money we put into it seemed wasted. Did I mentioned that Raphael had secretly turned the building into an illegal club/bar he called the Radiance Factory. Just a word of advice for Raphael, it’s not smart to advertise an illegal club. Fucking retard.

Here’s a before us and after us photo.

And after then after we did more work and started to settled in. In the very back behind the glass windows is where where the 4 massage rooms laid.

From the opposite direction. Ray loved his pool table.

A closer look further back. To the left was our bed room, middle was Ray’s desk and to the far right was our closet.

A better view of our closet. I had a lot more shoes back then.

Our living room in it’s earlier stage.

The kitchen area and dining area. Ray and I built that wobbly table one night when we had nothing better to do. He swears one day he’ll redeem himself.

Here’s what the building looked like on our last visit.

Looks like they built a kitchen room.

We turned this room into my workout/yoga room.

This is what it looks like by the time we were done with it.

And this is how it looks now.

This was suppose to eventually be a massage room #4, but in the mean time we just made it a guest room and it was also Chris Miller’s room when he stayed with us.

And this is how it looks now.

A before and after of Massage Room #3.

Same room, present day.

Before and after of Massage Room #2.

Massage Room #2 today.

My Massage Room before.

My beautiful massage room after. I actually worked countless hours in this room. It was the perfect massage room.

And this is how it looks like now.

A few before and afters of the lobby we fixed up. We were planning on getting more furniture to fill it up but I think we did a pretty spectacular job.

And here it is today. Animals.

We took back our blinds.

A before and after of the mens restroom. Behind the wall next to the sink was where the men’s urinal was. I forgot to take an aftermath photo but it’s probably for the best because it was bad.

They badly built what looks like lounge rooms downstairs. But the whole are downstairs area was pretty muck a junk yard.

Oh, our mistletoe was still hanging up. I bet it launched a lot of kisses.

I’ll never forget the day we lifted the super industrial air condition unit up on the rooftop. It was insanely crazy and scary. We had to set it on top of a shit ton of pallets in order for Ray and his dad to reach it. Ray had originally wanted to tie the heavy unit to a rope and pull it up. That made no fucking sense to me so I walked over to the Chinese produce factory and asked if they would help us out with their fork lift. It took some per swaying but my charm won in the end.

There were more pallets than what you see here. Trust me, people came out of their buildings to watch. It was totally wobbly and insanely scary.

Oh course it wasn’t only us that sweat for this building,

we put our loved ones to work too.

Kola did a lot of supervising.

Of course it wasn’t all hard work. I miss our parties

Drinking wine on the rooftop.

Having friends over to play pool. Hell, I miss having friends.

I even miss the skaters.

It was definitely an experience. But I gotta tell ya, I’m so glad it’s over.

The End.

On our way to California Ray and I are contemplating places we have to go or see before we head back to Texas. The sad part is that the only thing that crosses our minds is Nara, the most delrishious sushi restaurant in all of San Francisco. I guess when one has seen and done all that there is to do the only thing left is to eat.
Earlier that day we met up with Todd at an internet cafe. He’s just a happy go lucky guy so it’s always a treat to see him.

It was definitely a nice surprise to see Robin as well because we weren’t so sure if she would be able to make it because Beau had mentioned that she had some prior arrangements to attend but I think she might have broke them on our account. If so, thank you very much Robin. It is always a pleasure to see you.

After dinner we took our full bellies on a walk to The Tavern. It happens to be the place where Ray husseled himself a date with me and the place where Bea and Robin met. Many fond memories were made at The Tavern. You should go there and make some right now.

Evan and Beau wait their turn on the pool table.

Marci didn’t make it to sushi but she did meet up with us later on and she brought a friend and he’s a lot older than us, but very nice.

BFF’s forever.

Just for old time sakes we went to Pizza Pino at the end of the night. Still taste so good after a few beers.

You know how Ray and I travel a lot, well, yeah. There’s just always somewhere to go, some other thing to take care of. This time we headed to the bay area in California to take care of and finalize the old warehouse we’ve been subletting for the past 2 years. All I can say is that I’m so glad it’s run its course because it has been just a huge learning experience and a lot more stress than I had bargained for.

We have a lot of friends in the Bay Area so we took full advantage of our trip and tried to pencil everyone we could into our short visit. We had dinner and game nite at the Miller’s. I think we had Mexican.

First time I played Apples to Apples some card game that makes a really fun drinking game. By the way, is it me or does Beau look like  he’s 12 here?

We didn’t stop at our drunken card game. Oh no, after that we tackled the Wii.

Chris is about to do the hula hoop. Not so sexy when boys do it.

Chris Miller Does the Hula Hoop On Nintendo Wii from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Marci Does The Hula Hoop On Nintendo Wii from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Ray Does The Hula Hoop on Nintendo Wii from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Beau Does The Hula Hoop On Nintendo Wii from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Doan Does The Hula Hoop On Nintendo Wii from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

Beau Does Pilates On Nintendo Wii from Doan Chung on Vimeo.

It’s been a while since I got to hang out with Marci. It’s good to know that she hasn’t been corrupted my Chris Miller.

Bea found some old photos while unpacking.  These were taken back in 2006, I think.  We’re still just as cute.

Well, not right after but eventually. We had to mingle first and get everyone liquored up enough.

Mr. and Mrs. Hernandez. I’m a Hernandez now, I have a hard core Mexican name. If my grandmother knew about this she would roll over in her grave, both of them; I’m sure.

Don’t let our innocent faces fool you. We have been known to be completely insane and reckless. Hahahah. I love these girls and I couldn’t tell you how rad it was to have all four of them here. It’s been a while ladies since we’ve all been in the same room at the same time, ages actually. And now were all here together at my wedding!!! Jen, Heather, Me, Monica, and Becky.

Taking some time out with my little niece.

Me and my big sis, Lana, aka Lulu.

The happy married couples. Tell me guys, is it true that after marriage you guys get no more blow jobs? Because I’m really looking forward to that.

That Toph is a weird one. I’m sure he was dropped on the head one too many times as a child.

Everyone should have a friend like Jack. But with that being said, it’s just not possible, she’s one of those souls that just can’t be duplicated. Which is why she’s my angle and I love her like a fat kid loves cake, but a lot more.

Smile Jen. No salvation for you tonight. Tonight we party.

Oh no, what is Kuya Ben doing.

Sure is a lot of big Mexicans in this photo. I’m feeling out numbered and a little borderline midget.

Broom and his lovely girlfriend Penny Kim.

My sister just recently got married to Kevin and I couldn’t tell you how happy I am to have him as a brother inlaw. They’re perfect for each other. Just look at his serious face.

Jackie I don’t know what Dirk’s been putting in your head but he’s got it all wrong. Golden Dragon for life! Fuck Wachoiva.

Kevin and my mom. Whatcha writing there mom, it better be good; it’s going in my scrap-book.

Oh Marci, if only we had stayed in San Francisco we would totally be BFF’s by now, having sleep overs, contemplating on ways to torture the boys, baking, cooking, having long, deep talks about money . . .

Val and Guav, Um, Lo Ciento, no habla Espanol. Perdon.

BFF’s. If you guys were here so I would hug you so hard it would turn your butt-hole inside out.

The Semmlers, Issac, Tiffany and Chris. These are our game night friends and apparently our only friends here in Austin so be extra nice to them people; we’d like to keep em around, at least long enough to find their replacements.

Kayla and Kimmy’s daughter, sorry, I forgot her name. Peace be with you too.

Beau and Jackie, here’s the keys to the back of my truck. I kid, I kid. But seriously, the car’s parked over there.

I love my sister’s, no matter how dysfunctional you guys turned out. I don’t know why I turned out normal any you two have slight down syndrome maybe God loves me more than you.

A few of my favorite people, yes that includes Kola.

After much mingling we had our first dance as husband and wife. The reason why we’re laughing here is because Jackie rushed up from her table to go find the camcorder and fell flat on her ass.

Ray had problems taking off my garter. Bite it like a little money baby.

Selena caught the bouquet and Beau caught the garter.

Chris gave a surprisingly nice speech. Awe thanks Chris. Honey, listen to your best friend, save the money and I’m always right.

Bea and Jack also gave a really nice speech/skit.

Lana gave a kung fu panda, I’ll kill your family speech.

Beau and Becky also gave a speech, but for some reason I’m not able to find any photos of that. After all the speeches it was cake time. Yes, that is a ninja and a Mexican wrestler, and yes those are our wedding cakes.

The ninja represents me and the Mexican wrestler is Ray. Oh, and this is our vegan cake. Not the prettiest but I definitely think it tasted the best.

We’re feeding each other with a knife, yeah, that’s real smart.

Just look at our anxious little audience. I feel like a celebrity.

We had originally wanted to smash cake in each others faces but I guess when it came time to do it, it just didn’t happen.

We even manage to get a little dancing in.

Here’s my sweet air guitar move

I don’t know how it all started but somehow we all manage to got almost everyone at the wedding to take not one shot but several shots.  Here we’re passing out shots.

A toast!

And soon after that it seemed as though we were all liquored up enough to go pool jumping.  I’m pretty sure it was me who screamed, “Lets go pool jumping!”  And like sheep they all followed me.

We even convinced Amet and Anthony to jump.

Sexy Ass

And played chicken.  I play for keeps.

And then we all just hung out in the hot tub.

Tell me this wasn’t the best wedding ever.

Ray and I had originally planned on getting marry at night. I mean we wanted to kiss under the moon light because, well it’s romantic and no one does that. But the more I planned the more I realize it wasn’t practical which is why no one does it. Everyone would starve because dinner wouldn’t be till like midnight and the staff and caterers would be working super late. So we pushed the wedding as late as we could, around 8 or so, and just decided to play on the 080808 theme and have me walk down the isle at 8:08. Anyhow, I know it’s almost a month later, but here’s a compilation of the photos that were taken during the ceremony.

Ray and our Reverend Jack

The flower girl was my niece Sianna. Hey, Amet just got here, glad you could make it.

Walking down the isle with my mother, it was so hard not to cry.

I think it was Ray’s dad that started the stream of tears, then Ray, then my sisters, then my mother then Jackie and then me. I didn’t look at the audience but I’m sure everyone was crying by now.

I knew I wasn’t going to be the only one crying so I had some tissue tucked between my titties ready for him

Selena and Kola, Lana’s always ready to take a picture.

My sisters look so tan.

It looks like we planned to get married at sunset.

I look so in love.

Our audience.

I Ray Hernandez of Mesquite Texas . . .

I was wearing some bright ass nail polish

You may now kiss the bride

We are the Champions

And that was our ceremony. Stay tuned for more photos to come.

What a great day. When I think about the day I got married I can’t help but to smile really big. It’s the way every wedding should be: stress free, surrounded people you love, lots of good food and alcohol always helps.

There was some last minute shopping I had to get done, like flowers. Bea, Jackie and I went out in search of fresh flowers. After hitting up a few places and 3 hundred dollars later we came back with butt loads of flowers and some other random items we had on our list.

To my delight I came back to see my sister’s and mother had been hard at work doing what they do best, cook.

Chris and Pops fired up the grill.

I got in my bikini and joined the party.

How adorable do my sisters, mom and I look here?

Good times in the pool.

Jackie made her infamous jungle juice.

With my girls.

Kuya Ben’s a perve.

Gay boys like to ride each other in the pool.

I love my little sis.

Group photo.

Synchronizing pools jumping should be an Olympic event.

Kola roamed around.

Is this the gayest photo or what? Guav is in a bikini and in the back it looks like Coop is giving Ray a flower. I hope this photo comes back to haunt them one day.

Mom, Robin, Pops, Beau

Steve and his awesome wife, Nycole.

Kimmy, baby, and husband, Coop.

Chris and Marci.

Stuffing our faces.

As you can tell, it was a pretty awesome day and it was only going to get better. I love weddings, especially mine.

Alright, where did I leave off . . . so now that I know that I’ve come to my senses and realized that paint ball just wasn’t feasible, I stopped stressing; it’s all good now. When we got to Memory Lane, Ray’s parents were there, along with my family, (first time meeting). There was still a few hours of day light left so we all got into our swim suits and took full advantage.

When it started to get dark we took the party inside.

But the pavilion looked so nice at night . . .

So we went back outside.

And brought some beer with us too.

Pops gave us a lesson in Shot Gun Beer 101. Oh, I see, you got to open up the throat.

The girls went out of control.

Oh, and my sisters made some cookies.

Hours later we all finally made our way to bed. Besides a few minor hiccups, I was really happy with the way the night turned out and way too excited for tomorrow to begin.  I’m getting married tomorrow

First I have to pick up Val, then Jen. Becky gets in at 11:00 p.m. Bea and Gauv were suppose to get here around the same time but their flight was delayed and I have to pick them up at 2 in the morning. It’s two days before my wedding and I have some minor things I want to take care of before everyone arrives but it’s impossible since I have no control over their flights. Ray can’t help me because he’s at his bachelor party in Dallas. Ahhhhh! Fuck it. Jen, Val and I head to Kona Grill to get some drinks before I have to pick Becky up. Since our apartment is tiny I’m taking Becky and Jen to Becky’s friend, Autumn’s, house to stay the night right after I pick up Becky from the airport.

This photo here is the start of my stress. Up until now is when I start to loose it. It’s the next day. Ray gets here and he brings with him Beau and Chris. We all walk down the street to grab a quick bite before we have to split up. I head to the airport with Bea and Val to pick up Monica and Heather and then swing by Autumn’s house to pick up Becky and Jen. My friends Heather, Monica, Becky and Jen are all super close and none of us have seen each other in some time, so as soon as they all see each other they hug and want to take photos. I let them know that we’re in a bit of a time crunch and we have to make it quick and that’s when Becky says something like, “taking an extra two minutes isn’t going to matter.” I suppose she’s right, but I’m seriously starting to stress because in like an hour or so we should be meeting up for paint ball and we still need to meet up with the boys at Costco.

So as soon as everyone loads up in the car, Becky makes, not a request but a demand to get some beer and a few other girls chime in in approval. I reluctantly have Bea take them to the mini mart and by this time I’m trying my damn hardest to stay cool. You see, I have been so proud of myself for staying so cool throughout the whole wedding planning process. I have not been a bridezilla nor do I want to be but my friends are making it really hard for me to not want to rip their fucking heads off and chuck it straight out the window at some poor drivers wind sheild or down the freeway so their skulls will be crushed by the tires of diesel trucks. I know they’re just happy to see one another and just want to party but have a little consideration. It’s my day, my wedding, and I’m stressed on time and stopping by for beer probably won’t make a difference but it adds to my frustration people.

So they all get back into the car and I’m pissed off but trying my best not to show it. It’s hard because I have always been the type of person to tell my friends exactly how I feel but with so many people in the car and considering how pissed I was I didn’t think it was the right time or place. Becky could sense I was upset and later says to calm me down, “we’re on exactly the right time schedule we need to be, honey.” This only aggravates me even more and I envisioned her head bouncing off the hood of a car and onto the freeway cement where an on coming school bus pops it like an itty bitty pimple without any notice. First thing all of you should know, I despise being called honey, or sweety by anyone that is younger than me, in a condescending tone or by any one other than Ray when I’m pissed off. And besides how the hell would you know that we’re on the right time schedule? I’m sorry have you been planning this wedding? Anyhow, everyone could feel the vibrations of my stressful energy and I hate all this pity sympathy because the fact of the matter is I would be fine if we didn’t have to stop for beer so I just blurt out that I really didn’t want to stop for beer.

Now we’re at Costco and I’m trying to stay away from my Vacaville friends because I’m too mad and stressed to deal with them. We have a lot of people, 3 carts full of Costco stuff and we’re late for paint ball. Bea could tell I was starting to lose it. I wanted to cry and it was so hard not to but I didn’t want anymore pity sympathy, especially now that the boys were around.

There was absolutely no room in the car. I was stubborn and wanted to put the boy’s Tetris skills to work but no one was having it. Bea called Enterprise and we all had to wait outside with all our stuff for enterprise to come and save the day.

My friends left to the car to go drink more beer. God bless them.

Finally Enterprise came, took me, Bea, and Guav away to sign some paper work and we were back in a black P.T Cruiser. We all loaded up the cars and headed to Memory Lane in acceptance that there would be no paint ball.